Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I am involved with someone who has an addiction. I was involved with him previous to treatment and this past year and a half of sobriety. Trust is a hard thing even when I see the positive changes. It takes one little thing, to trigger the anxiety. Sometimes I think I have PTSS. This is my question-Two of his old friends (addicts) paid him a visit. One of the conditions of me staying in the relationship was for him to get rid of the other women and the people he was doing drugs with. Am I trying to manipulate him to get him to do what I want or am I setting boundaries, so that I feel safe? He never told me about the two friends coming by, someone else did.
Manipulating him would mean you created the boundary like a fence- he'd see it and if he knew what was good for him he'd run the other way. Making an honest boundary means that you realize he may see the boundary, choose to ignore it and then you would follow up with your actions to leave him, not as a punishment but because YOU do not choose to in a relationship that involves those other people.
Run away from this guy!!! You are giving and he is not being honest and is depleting you emotionally. You deserve better. If he decides to change he will do it with or w/o you. You can't fix him. It does not mean he doesn't love you but you deserve better. You are not manipulating you set boundaries. If he does not follow through you need to get out for your safety and well being. It will only need to more abuse and him neglecting your needs while you keep giving yourself to someone who does not deserve it. If we are with the wrong kind of people we can't meet the right ones..lol. My counselor stated this and it is so true!!!