Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
See this article by Darlene Lancer below:
Link = The Life-Altering Power of Setting Boundaries (and how to do it)
I do not agree with everything from Dr Lancer, especially her relentless attack against people calling them enemies as "narcissist", but in that link above she nails this point very well indeed.
The truth is that in order to reach a true recovery then it all requires and circumvents our own boundaries.
To know how to cure codependency and to cure a lot of other difficulties then the solution and remedy is in our own boundaries.
Boundaries are not just about where or how we give our yes-or-no, because we must use our self esteem and our values to create the healthy boundaries, and the correct healthy boundaries are the goal or our true destination.
Quotable quote from that link which is so compelling = "Love can not exist without boundaries."
Many people see love as the ultimate goal, and in that case to get our self to love then we must get the boundaries correctly.
Just saying here.
As in = What kind of foods? What style of clothing? Home location? Chosen friends and interest? All are wants and needs for individuals.
Wants and needs always mix together.
The codependent person will violate the needs with extreme wants (such as alcohol, sex, drugs, food, etc.) and by being excessive needy – as in: can not make decisions, can not speak, can not feel, etc.
When our wants and needs are done correctly then they become our personal boundaries.
The addict or the abuser is dependent on the codependent person(s).
Link = Empowering Abuse: https://independentfew.wordpress.com/empowering-abuse/
The codependent person is similar to having a bi-polar perspective by seeing life as opposites, as in black and white, hot and cold, good and bad, etc., without seeing the gray middle ground.
The codependent person acts in extremes of opposites, as being friend or enemy, happy or miserable, clean or dirty, fat or skinny, etc.
Real healthy functioning relationships requires flexibility in feelings and in attitudes, so that any tough, hard, unbending, stiff positions are walls that get in the way.
The middle space means that concerning other people we do not have to like or to love or to hate or to be unloving, and most people fall into the middle where they are neither a friend nor an enemy.
Quoted from the movie "Ever After",
said by Leonardo Da Vinci to the Prince.