Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
My new bf relapsed on alcohol, and got kicked out of his VA addiction treatment program home.
He gave me this elaborate story why he got kicked out, claiming there were bottles found outside. When I got to there to give him a ride, I smelled alcohol on him and persisted and getting to the "truth". When he finally admitted he relapsed, anyway I got upset and handled it well but told him I couldn't be with someone who lied to me, that it wasn't healthy for me.
I understand about alcoholism. I have 4 years clean and sober. He has been less than 100% honest in the past, and there were other issues, so this was sort of the final straw, but I am dealing with the loss of someone I love.
He has not tried to contact me, and I don't really have an easy way to reach him. It's not so much that he drank, which has it's own problems, it's that he lied about it. I know denial is a part of alcoholism. I just wished he'd told me the truth, and I know that is not something I have any control over.
In the past he used to say he would rather be with me than drink. I know there is no human power that can relieve his alcoholism. He was the last guy in his treatment program who had not relapsed, of those who began at the same time. I guess that was hard for him. I had issues with trusting him.
Thanks for reading. I'm really bummed and looking for any positive feedback or support.
Reading the alanon book on detachment, love and forgiveness has helped tremendously.
He gave me this elaborate story why he got kicked out, claiming there were bottles found outside. When I got to there to give him a ride, I smelled alcohol on him and persisted and getting to the "truth". When he finally admitted he relapsed, anyway I got upset and handled it well but told him I couldn't be with someone who lied to me, that it wasn't healthy for me.
I understand about alcoholism. I have 4 years clean and sober. He has been less than 100% honest in the past, and there were other issues, so this was sort of the final straw, but I am dealing with the loss of someone I love.
He has not tried to contact me, and I don't really have an easy way to reach him. It's not so much that he drank, which has it's own problems, it's that he lied about it. I know denial is a part of alcoholism. I just wished he'd told me the truth, and I know that is not something I have any control over.
In the past he used to say he would rather be with me than drink. I know there is no human power that can relieve his alcoholism. He was the last guy in his treatment program who had not relapsed, of those who began at the same time. I guess that was hard for him. I had issues with trusting him.
Thanks for reading. I'm really bummed and looking for any positive feedback or support.
Reading the alanon book on detachment, love and forgiveness has helped tremendously.
I'm hoping for waves of soothing calm to rinse away the pain of your loss.
peace- Deramo
In AA a person has to do their own work and go to meetings without being forced.
The treatment places are trying hard and dedicated staff for sure, but some how the person needs real motivation or nothing can work.
And I agree that telling lies is a part of the addiction, but it is usually the worst part and the hardest part to put up with.