Yeah...Relationship rearrangements can be as traumatic as total breakdowns still share a house with my x. we are the best of friends and the worst of enemies at times. i still love her but i do not think the feeling is the same on her side.
i know that dont leave me feeling well and the coming from a unstable and abusive background i well know too.
sorry you are hurting so much...when it happens to me i go into a painful panic.
maybe you could have a plan to do one thing self nurturing for yourself today...just one thing can mean allot.
this i am learning

Hi,

I think ink8290 has a very good suggestion, which has helped me as well. I focus on something else. I find it really helpful to read positive books - about recovery, that type of thing.

It is also helpful (at least for me) to go and do something - take a walk, get outside, call or visit a friend.

Shar

Thank you guys. I took my dog for a blustery but refreshing walk on the beach with my sister. Then my best friend called from her trip in washington......so both of these things helped and leveled off my feelings. I also tried to work out my feelings, what were they...why were they so familiar.....

Hey there,

It's hard when you break up, even if it's amicable. It sounds as though despite the break up, it wasn't dramatic and it eased off, so it didn't have as much of an impact. Now, someone you care about is leaving. I think it's natural to have some of the feelings that you describe.

Alana

Hey there,

It's hard when you break up, even if it's amicable. It sounds as though despite the break up, it wasn't dramatic and it eased off, so it didn't have as much of an impact. Now, someone you care about is leaving. I think it's natural to have some of the feelings that you describe.

Alana

Yeah, you're right. It kind of got better-he text to tell me how important my text and msgs were to him....then later worse, he text to excitedly say he'd been offered a job touring new zealand for months on end. I nearly had a panic attack....I just tried to steady myself and ask myself what was going on. He's been out of work for nearly 3 years, this is great for him,,,,I read M.Beattie and her words 'if you love someone you give them freedom....you cant make someone do something or control their choices..you trust the universe...and some loses are bringing you close to love' (i assume the 'right' love. I make a list to remind myself that his depression crippled me (I couldnt cure it, but like a true co tried and tried, he never had any money, he was emotionally distant, had a very questionable background (drugs and more) put me down.....and I just remember that I also have some power and control. I choose not to have that in my life...I have to let go.

Not an easy decision to make, but it sounds like the best one under the circumstances. We become as much addicts as the addicts that we sometimes find ourselves associated with. We're addicted to this desire for love but as you say, we end up drawn to a less than healthy type of love. You are indeed getting closer to the right kind of love. I'm feeling that way myself but I feel quite scared too.

I feel scared too. That's exactly how i would describe it...fear. M.Beattie says you should gently accept the fear... Why do you feel scared Alanalove?