Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
So I asked earlier about coda vs al anon meeting. I got great replies so I decided to go to a local al anon meeting. Well in the parking lot I saw someone I work with. I knew she attended the meetings but didn't know which one. I don't think she saw me and I left.
I didn't go to the meeting because I didn't want her telling people she saw me there. NO ONE knows my issues with codependency. Its something that I keep to myself. Here is where my SHAME comes in. I admire her for being able to talk honestly and candidly about her family/personal issues. I would love to be able to share but my shame comes into play.
So on monday there is another meeting somewhere else and I will attempt to go to that one. Hopefully I will not know anyone there.
What do ya'll think? All replies are more than welcomed.
Hugs to all...
I didn't go to the meeting because I didn't want her telling people she saw me there. NO ONE knows my issues with codependency. Its something that I keep to myself. Here is where my SHAME comes in. I admire her for being able to talk honestly and candidly about her family/personal issues. I would love to be able to share but my shame comes into play.
So on monday there is another meeting somewhere else and I will attempt to go to that one. Hopefully I will not know anyone there.
What do ya'll think? All replies are more than welcomed.
Hugs to all...
It is still a part of my recovery efforts.
Shame and embarrassment is a big part of it.
It comes from our trust being violated by our family of origin.
That info does not make it much easier but it does give us some understanding of it.
When we are growing up then we thrive on our youthful trust of our parents and older siblings and extended families - like happy families do it, but when my trust was violated then I see familiar people as threatening, when they know me then they are likely to degrade me or to harm me so I feel threatened and uncomfortable.
The strangers were never ever mean or hateful and so we trust a stranger instead of a familiar face.
Completely backwards.
The sad reality is that the best friends we will ever have are those that know our history, those that grew up with us, but our trust is violated and so we seek safty among strangers and that is a far more dangerous place.
People that marry their childhood friends are the ones that trust and love the familiar faces.
They see and feel trust in their family and their friends and their co-workers too.
I suggest you attempt a trip down the scary road of trust and trusting, because trusting in that co-worker would be your very first "friend" at the meeting because you already know each other.
It is a big BIG blessing to know some one already there because that one you can trust.
It might seem weird but still true, that trust was violated and you need to get it back.
Codependency is based in shame because we each are embarrassed about it and about our own history and the shame will control our life until we over come it.