Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I don't know what's going on today, but it is for sure an up and down day. Yesterday was my first of what will be many ala-non meetings, and I feel like it opened up a whole trunk full of confusion. I didn't want to think for the longest time that my mom's drinking and drug use had any effect on me. It was like I didn't want to give her the credit. Low and behold, here I am 31 years old, having to work out all these problems that I didn't create.
It's made it so I absolutely cannot have a stable relationship, and I have ruined the relationship that I have, love, and truly care about. I just want things to settle down. I'm definitely one for instant gratification, so of course the process of having to work through it, work the steps, get better, learn as I go, and everything else is making it almost unbearable to go through...
My mind just won't stop racing. Can anyone give me any tips on maybe like meditation? I feel like that might help me.
It's made it so I absolutely cannot have a stable relationship, and I have ruined the relationship that I have, love, and truly care about. I just want things to settle down. I'm definitely one for instant gratification, so of course the process of having to work through it, work the steps, get better, learn as I go, and everything else is making it almost unbearable to go through...
My mind just won't stop racing. Can anyone give me any tips on maybe like meditation? I feel like that might help me.
What kinds of things are you trying to work through? How and why do you think you can't have a stable relationship? How did you ruin it?
I don't think I can have a stable relationship because I am so codependent it's ridiculous. I get hung up on everything, constantly checking my phone. My value for myself comes from relationships and the caring of others, and doing things for other people so I can feel better about myself.
I need to get over the codependence, and I'm going to therapy to sort through the depression. My biggest issue is that it isn't fixed over night, and I'm just overwhelmed and tired of feeling like this.
Also I just bought a book called Codependent No More. I haven't started reading it yet but I'm hoping it'll help.
I'm sorry to hear that the start of your recovery has been so overwhelming for you. I don't do much medication, but I do have anxiety, so hopefully some of my calming techniques can help.
One of the best things that I've learned over the years is to remove myself from the current situation, take a walk, or even just go get a glass of water. If you're not able to remove yourself from the situation, close your eyes and count even just to 4, and that helps. If you're still struggling after that hold on to the table, grab the arms of your chair, feel what is real and tangible around you. It helps to resituate yourself into reality rather than the racing thoughts in your head. It sounds funny, but it really is my go to technique for quickly calming myself down before I go into a full panic attack.
I wish you the best in finding your peaceful place!
I'm trying not to just sit in my head and think. I have a friend who deals with codependent issues too and she loaned me "codependent no more" so I'm going to start on that today. I have hope for myself, just not a lot of it yet.