Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

3,331 Members
10,657 Posts
1 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Codependency Support Group

It's Not Fair!!!

allicat9375
allicat9375
It's not fair that I'm a women and co-dependent, not that men have it easier. But PMS takes away all rational thinking, and brings on tears for the stupidest crap.

I went to my therapist today and I was telling her that on 4/16 my bf sent me a fb message saying ~ are OK though worried about u.i just am in a tight spot inancially.i do love u and appreciate what you do for me.i miss u.

But then me when on his fb page and saw a post from some girl on 4/20 saying she was looking forward to hanging out with him and some other girl. I want to respond right after I saw it, i was like I thought u didn't have any money!!!!

I stopped myself which is a first!! But after thinking about it and talking to my therapist, I thought it out! The post said Hanging Out, he responded, it could have been girls he knew from AA. then there is the fact that on his wall is a picture of me that I tagged him in, and some sappy love statement and I said the way i love you (he never deleted them).

So I am choosing to just let it go! I finally found a sponsor so I have other things I need to take care of!!!!

Sober One Day At A Time~
Allison~Codependent
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know anything about being a woman. But I will tell you I have felt the same frustration with fb posts. If it frustrates you so much, maybe it's a good idea not to use fb so much. Focus only on what's essential. FB is not essential, so don't let what other people say upset you. If I looked at all my friends on facebook all day, then I would feel the same as you.
allicat9375
allicat9375
ponyo you are so right about fb. I have no reason to go to his page, basically I'm just being nosy looking for bs. I'm should be content with the fact that he say he loves and misses me.

i'm going to try a week start slow. the there thing I just started again tanking my anti-depressant, but I think I'm in a manic phase right now!
AlanaLove
AlanaLove
Don't even get me started on the evils of facebook... it's a significant way for a co-dependent to feed him/herself. I agree that staying away from facebook and trawling through these pages will be helpful. It's like you are looking for evidence of wrongdoing and eventually it could end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just enjoy your relationship and try and stay in tune with your instincts. You get a feeling when something is wrong, versus feelings of dependency running rampant.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with all of you about fb, it is evil and a great place for us codependents to feed our anxieties and try to find something wrong. It's very hard not to go to their pages but if you can stay away it is so much better and you will feel better too. I face this every time I log in, I have tried to only log in when I have "messages" from someone rather than just looking.

Sounds like you are headed in the right direction one day at a time.
allicat9375
allicat9375
My emotions turned out to be so much more. I have been ignoring the fact that some tine in 2007 I was diagnosed as being bipolar. I spent all my time on taking care of others and not taking of me.

Starting a new med in the am- maybe this willil help me to focus on working my program!
hbgdaystar
hbgdaystar
Boundaries for self ..... anybody ever thought abt that one? I have facebook its mainly to not check wht others are doing neither i want to give advice. Thats my place to conenct with my school mates, friend and family...