Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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I love him so much it hurts!

JnJ
JnJ

After countless times to try to help my husband with his many addictions and failing, I went into therapy to try to help myself.  On the first day of therapy, I said something that I have felt so often in the past 18 years of my marriage.  I love him so much it hurts.  My therapist gave me a book to read.  It's called Women Who Love Too Much by: Robin Norwood.  I swear this book was written for me.  I am currently working on helping myself.  My husband on the other hand, I don't think he is.  He says he is all better, I know he is not.  I struggle daily with what is best for me, for him, for my children.  I feel I am getting stronger.  I fear I don't feel for him the way I did.  We had an amazing relationship.  One everyone who knew us was jealous of.  Until I found out he was unfaithful to me 10 years ago, producing a child.  That led him to doing drugs to hide his feelings and more lies than anyone can imagine.  I'm glad I found this group.  This is my first time on here, but my hope is that I am able to help some of you with my story and you are able to help me be strong and continue to heal.

polarbare
polarbare
I heard of that book I can relate ... Good for you working on yourself....DS is a great support ... You are not alone in your journey .
..((hugs )) polar
JnJ
JnJ
Thank you so much. I think letting go of everything else and thinking about myself has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But I am very determined not to give in anymore!
roguechevelle
roguechevelle
Hearing your story gives me courage. Having somebody out there who understands what it's like to have a toxic relationship who is trying to grow strength and improve themselves without constantly taking on others' problems it really does inspire. I'm hoping to work with a therapist soon to start my own path of recovery and growth, my husband not sure whats gonna happen with him but i can't be sucked into the vortex of lies and manipulation anymore, right now i don't believe anything he says. But i'm not healthy yet myself and i want to be a stronger person who can walk away if i decide it's for the best.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I use to be your husband. I cheated on my wife and she found out about it. My shame and my guilt triggered a drug and alcohol problem. So I was looking for love in all the wrong places, but it starts with me. Until I loved myself, I would not be able to love someone else. I learned how to let go of all the shame and guilt with the 12 steps of AA. That was 8 years ago, and although I am divorced now, we remain good friends. I am happier now then I have ever been.

God Bless
roguechevelle
roguechevelle
I'm glad bobinmaine that you are better and happier. It's very positive for you to share your story and it gives a sense of hope for people who are experiencing a similar situation.
JnJ
JnJ
Thank you all for your responses! Things are getting better, but very slowly! The hardest things for me to do is love myself and start thinking about myself. I have put everyone else before myself for so long, but I am trying! God bless you all!
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