Hello all...

I'm really trying to work on myself and since becoming more involved in here and less in the abuse group, I am seeing more things that I need to do to "keep my side of the street clean."  However, a certain situation has arisen where I am just not sure... it seems I have done the right things to attempt to resolve this issue but the other person involved (like a boss figure) is not cooperating even though it does seem like he is concerned that our relations have recently deteriorated.  i've had to take some steps back, remove myself as I started to crack a bit out of frustration and not feeling like I was being heard.  It seemed like the only option was to step back.

Basically we've had some very successful projects together -- some of his most successful projects ever.  One of them I would say is his most successful project of all time.  My contribution was very important yet i agreed to have it played down a bit when he joined as I knew his inclusion would cause it to be even more successsful.  I think, however, I could have insisted to be on equal footing as my contributions were very much equal.  I did make a remark about the fact that it was a step down for me but that I was willing to do it for his inclusion.  But of course he did not take the "hint."  Regardless, it was very successful and earned him a lot more business!  It did not have the same affect on my career.  I do feel my status was raised somewhat, but the position he was already in + our project was a major boost for him. Other people in our industry in his position, might normally take someone along (like me) to include them in their success.  He did not do this with me, but it's possible that he was not able to do this.  I.e. Others were probably calling the shots and his status is still rising/He might not be in the same position to be able to do this.  So maybe I should get over this one? 

Cut to: our new project.  After the success of our projects, he has had many other successful projects.  But ours remain the most successful.  Neverthless, he was able to get involved in the tail-end of perhaps the most successful project in our industry, which was even more successful than ours.  He was not a main player in this whatsoever, but it seemed he let the reflected glory get to him a bit.   When we started the new project together, he said something to me to do my part "like so and so" meaning he wanted me to be like one of the people in this other major project.  I have to say, I was very hurt considering I have delivered his most successful original projects to date!  

He was telling me to be like this other person, when this other person actually had so much support delivering what she did!  She had an entire team. plus a lot more resources and support from her boss!  Meanwhile, I have delivered my part completely on my own without any assistance whatsoever!  I had zero resources from him or anyone else!  So the fact that he was asking me to do what this person did without recognising that she was also given a lot more assistance really started to make me feel bad!  How could he not recognise this?  He is much more senior than me in the industry and surely can see this!  I even pointed this out to him but it did not seem to make any difference to him.  He basically said he thought what i did was "perfect" except for... blah blah blah 

Also, from the beginning i felt there were technical issues with the project on his side that he had initiated.  i was attempting to do the best that I could do with it however and thought we could work out these other issues as the project went on.  I think maybe I should have discussed these issues from the start!  But i was already not in a good place with my feelings due to what I already felt was his unfair treatment.  Let me just say, that I do think this person is largely a kind person with good intentions and might just be on a different wavelength to me, with a different skillset that causes him to see things differently.

Neverthless, as the project went on, he started to criticise my contributions.  I finally told him that I felt there were issues from the start with what he had given me and that I was trying to work with what I had as best I could.  It seemed like he still did not even hear me or want to hear me or take any criticisms on himself.  He continued to ridicule my contributions even in front of the group.  I offered to revise my contributions and told him what I needed to do so.  He has yet to give me those revisions yet continues to question my contributions in front of the group!  I am finding this somewhat humiliating!  First of all, there is a direct way he can check some of the things he is questioning and he does not even appear to have done that!  

Finally someone outside of our project told him that my contributions were excellent and that his seem to be faulty!  He did not look happy about that but has still not given me what I need to make the revisions.  Furthermore, this is the first year that we have not had any published projects together.  In 2016 and 2017 (the years of our original projects) his name went up up up the rankings in our industry.  Now suddenly he has fallen many many places in a recent survey.  I have to say it is very timely since he knows I am a bit upset with him/having conflicts with him.  

I've just been feeling so sorry for myself that I have given so much and in spite of that not been recognised as much as I should have been and now getting blamed for a situation which i feel is not all mine to carry!  I really put this boss on a pedestal and it is disappointing that his treatment to me has been less than desirable! 

I know there is a lot of codependent stuff in here but I am trying my best to do the right thing!  Is there anything I could do to be better?  Or have I entered into a relationship with someone who is actually not treating me properly?  I would really like to get your feedback in here!

Thank you so much!! BLessings!