NO WAY!
That is plain RUDE!!!
They let you plan your day and then dumped on you.

Those who actually attended were just as rude.

These people are not actual friends.

I'd ask why the invitation was rescinded.

Sounds very immature, at best.

Hi hbgdaystar,

At first glance it sounds very thoughtless and I am not surprised that you feel upset. Would you be willing to share a bit more detail about what happened? I wonder if, for example, the dinner went ahead without you or if your friend needed to cancel at short notice for some reason?

In general though, sadly, some people may behave in this way and genuinely not see that it could be hurtful for someone else because of their own thoughtlessness.

I agree with DeliAnnem that if the dinner is going ahead, it seems fair enough to ask why you were uninvited...

Love,

Alana

Yes dinner went ahead without me..

I asked the host what is this all abt, he said he felt obligated to invite to begin with and since he met me several days that week he felt to uninvite and go with other 2 friends. He appologised for his behavior. I do feel taken for granted despite any reasoning... I am just not too sure yet if I will continue my friendship for this person. I am in process of revaluating friends and trust.

That's really terrible. My initial reaction after reading that was that I'd probably accept the apology but move on to greener pastures. That said, having more detail here it sounds as though your friend has some decency. 1) Your friend apologised. 2) Your friend gave an explanation. It seems like your friend wanted to act fairly amongst you and others and then acted really rudely towards you in the process.

Many years ago, a good friend of mine omitted to invite me to his birthday party. It was terrible as he'd always been invited to mine but that year he thought I'd be unable to make it so chose not to invite me. However, later on, he apologised and invited me realising it was wrong to make assumptions. He realised how hurtful his behaviour was, apologised and made it right.

If this is a one off event, if I were in your shoes, I'd let it go and be gracious and understanding. However, if this is a pattern of behaviour or your friend does something like this again... then it's time to re-evaluate. People make mistakes sometimes. Maybe your friend just made a really big mistake here and won't do it again.

E gads.....this friends obviously missed the manners department! Well, I chalk it up to error if the friend apologized, and just stay aware....you now know where this person operates from, and a strange reasoning......just pointing out the obvious there.

But one thing I am wondering, if they had never invited you at all would you feel differently? I have a group of friends and sometimes not everyone is invited, we have one friend who gets seriously butthurt if she isn't included in EVERY invite. I am of the viewpoint, that not everyone has to be included in everything.

Either way that was just a thought that came up for me!

I guess we sometimes just have to carry on from owies that our friends do to us! Take care!! xoxo

Coda

If I was not invited it wouldn't have bothered me. The fact that i was invited and then uninvited it hurt. EGO i guess.

Anyways moving on i have met up with my therapist to check why this was bothering me a Lot..

She mentioned that every one has right to change their mind. I am not saying that what the host has done is right or wrong.

She asked me if i I do have change of mind and i said yes i do but when i do change my mind i usually talk to the other person on why i am not comfortable and have them understand my situation and then let them decide but in this case a decision was made for me.

Either way i recognized that this is a wound from my past where my dad just ignored my brother and me when step mom came into picture. Whenever some one takes me for granted i just go to that place causing me lot of hurt and pain.

Now that i was able to recognize that i am able to make a conscious effort on working on healing the wound.

I don't think you are over reacting..my feelings would be hurt too.
Whoever retracted the invitation I would call and tell them it hurt my feelings and ask why it happened that way.

I would say I don't mind not being invited to every event....but to be invited and then un invited....I would say what is up with that? Its been bothering me and I just need to know.