I have to keep this short and go to sleep, I'm feeling on the edge of a codependent meltdown. I've been doind really well for myself the past several months. As a sympotom of codependence I was homeless for a long time and the past few years I have been working my way up the self care ladder. The past several months I have been doing really well. It's the doing well that is almost the scariest, because retrospectively I can see where I have been, where I could be. I get scared of going back. I get terrified that I'm dying of codependence sometimes. Most of the time I hate myself for being codependent, for being disloyal to myself, for putting the needs and wants of others before myself. But the past several months I have been doing really well. I've been learning about boundaries, I've been listening to a lot of audio books (Melody Beattie's The New Codependence currently, it's very insightful), I'm working on a routine, eating regular meals, doing regular laundry, working jobs I love, playing roller derby, working on starting a business, going to school. Really good self care stuff. I'm proud of me and feel like I am making great progress.
But, my boyfriend and I broke up recently. Honestly, in terms of breakups it was really good, really smooth. I still have parts of hurt I need to work through. But i'm ok with; which i'm also proud of myself for because it is progress for me.
I'm scared of being alone though. I don't know how. I have a relationship option with an ex that I really don't want and I'm worried that I'll end up in it just not to be alone. I'm worried I'll be unhappy being alone. I'm worried that I can't be single. Because truth be told, I never have been, but I know that right now I want to be single. It's just, the fear of being alone has always one and I want to do things differently. I want to live for myself for a while, for I am whole as I am. I know this, but I want to feel it. I want to carry this knowledge with me wherever I go. I'm just not quite sure how.
Hi everyone,It's been a couple of months that I'm together with this man and everything seems to go well, loving etcHowever, old habits die hard..I find real difficulty to trust him..and men in general..I always think that he will screw me over eventually..and that's why when he does something small that bothers me seems like a huge deal to me..if he's not there right away all the time to give me...
Hi guys, I've posted a couple of days ago about the anger that has come in the surface thanks to my dreams and that is connected with my codependency problems..well, this anger now is transformed into fear of abbandoment and feelings of disappointment of people (men in particular).. Before, when my boyfriend didn't appeared or did something when I wanted him to, I felt angry..now I'm feeling a...