Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi
I'm not sure quitw how to phrase this, but I think that it's a very common feeling among codependents, so here goes:
You know this idea that something outside yourself is going to make ypu happy? I have gotten into my dream education, gotten my drram internship, had my dream relationship - nothing made me feel peaceful and content.
I still have this uncomfortable feeling inside which makes me not even want to be in my body and I feel like I'm stuck with bad company...
You know what feeling I'm talking about, right? Have you overcome it? Are you happy being alone? Do you trust your future because you know you'll always have yourself and you're both trustworthy and good company?
How?
I'm not sure quitw how to phrase this, but I think that it's a very common feeling among codependents, so here goes:
You know this idea that something outside yourself is going to make ypu happy? I have gotten into my dream education, gotten my drram internship, had my dream relationship - nothing made me feel peaceful and content.
I still have this uncomfortable feeling inside which makes me not even want to be in my body and I feel like I'm stuck with bad company...
You know what feeling I'm talking about, right? Have you overcome it? Are you happy being alone? Do you trust your future because you know you'll always have yourself and you're both trustworthy and good company?
How?
The "dream" thing is what I see as the problem.
Living on dreams is a nightmare to me.
The basis of self trust and of self esteem is in extraordinary truthfulness.
Do not read fiction or novels, but only read non-fiction and especially read biographies and philosophy and TRUE stuff, because that way we start to be truthful to our self.
This world keeps telling us to DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM - and I find that to be sickness.
Instead of that dreaming then - MAKE REALISTIC GOALS.
Be careful about movies or TV shows, as it too needs to have some basis in truth or else it is infecting our mind.
I like Harry Potter movies NOT because it has magic, but because it has realistic types of magic. As in they fly on a broom and so that is realistically possible. They make a love potion and there are potions that do incredible stuff, so it becomes a realistic form of magic.
When TV tells us to "fly fly fly" well I can not fly and I do not have a flying broom so that is a bunch of rubbish as a dream life, and if we really want to get healthy and to stay healthy then we need reality as only the truth sets people free.
As such when I am alone then I have my best movies on DVD and read the best of books and THEN I have some thing that I can trust.
This is just my suggestion, and it works for me.
What is a "dream" anything, anyway?
As I get older, I have come to realize that searching for happiness is not the way to live life. My mission is to be the best Me that God created. My mission is to live a life of authenticity. Be the best mother and wife. Be the best teacher I can be.
I feel mainly content in that quest. When I start feeling anxious, I look into it and pray for insight.
My new version of "happiness" is being at peace with the world and myself in it at that very moment.
Everything else is just static to me anymore.
I think too many people buy into what society says we "need" to be happy. I tell my students all the time that the key to happiness is to get great joy from tiny things. And to live in the moment.
Have you tried that approach, Skiessinging? Love the name, BTW.