Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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juneport 10/16/2016

Hello!

I am moving abroad in a few days to do some traveling/self reflection. I have been in three codependent relationships in my life. From the ages of 14-22. First with a bipolar boy who emotionally abused me for years, then with an alcoholic 7 years my senior, and then with a sex addict/pill addict. I ended these relationships for good in March and I have made a committment to never get involved in another one again. However my question is how? I really want to take this time traveling to myself and I know that I will be meeting lots of new people. My issue is that I feel chemically drawn to people who are abusive to me. So much so that when I ended my last romantic relationship in March I entered an equally abusive friendship with a woman that ended with her threatening to "smash" me. I am hoping that now that I am aware of my issue with codependence I will be able to avoid people like this, but I am scared I won't. How do you guys avoid toxic people?

Thanks!

mirandac 10/17/2016

I needed Alanon, basically you need to
reparent and Retrain yourself.

Codependents are created they are not
Born that way. Most come from homes
Of addicts, drunks, emotionally unavailable
People or someone with mental illness and
Mostly the spouse is a codependent.

The child's needs were not met, they were
not heard or seen, They did not matter, they
have no sense of Self.

A Normal person thinks From the inside out, a
Codie uses only their Brain because they can not
trust their feelings and emotions. The Healthier
you get the more you trust yourself And you learn
to listen to your gut or small voice from within.

In order to avoid toxic people you need strong
Boundaries. Do not let a bully or abuser near
You or enter your inner world. HUGS

MendingAgain 10/19/2016

You will never be able to avoid toxic people, they are everywhere. The key is knowing who you are, your boundaries, and being able to detach from people's toxicity, and drama. This will help you tremendously, so always keep this in the back of your mind. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, which sounds like you have got a great start. Good Luck abroad, and have fun!

Cublove 10/20/2016

Yes, enjoy your time abroad! I went and walked part of the Camino to reconnect with myself and it was great. The unfortunate part is that people and relationships are waiting for when you come back and I rushed back right into the arms of the old thinking it would be different. It wasn't. ..well a little but...my awareness around my codependency was just starting. Now I see how super important it is to to not slip and relapse into these toxic mixes with. Spending time in safe, healing and personal spaces is so necessary for me...I did not realize the demage I was doin to myself by tolerating unloving realrioships....now I see and need to care and love myself. Blessings of healing light to you. Thank you!

juneport 10/20/2016

thank you everyone for your kind words! I am learning to love myself. I think that this trip will help with that :]

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