Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
husband is non avaible im too avaible. i want to work things out. he says if this marriage doent work out he will not be with anyone else. i believe him. it took 2 yrs to find out what the game is. he dosent have a clue why we cant live together. also he has a son controlles him by getting ill and i have a son who who controlles me by removing all human contct from me. he goes in his romm and leaves me alone 95 % of the time. husband leaves me alone most of the time and punshes me the same way. have decided to set boundried with son. when he abondons me i took something away from him to get his attention. my mind is not retaing information and my memory is failing
A true boundary in such a situation would be to insist on your self NOT retaliating in any way. Tell yourself that you will not be angry for the acts of others. A true abuser will come in to hurt you and walking away from you is not the same catagory.
Your son going into a room to get away from you is NOT some thing for you to punish him about.
You need to try being nice, love thy enemies, be the adult and the parent and NOT the child's friend, make so people want to be around you.
The same works true for a husband. It is not healthy to believe your husband is leaving you alone as a punishment to you or leaving you alone as a way to harm you. That is not logical and it sounds more like you are expressing an extreme fear of abandonment.
We attract bees with honey and not vinigar.
The greatest cursing of codependency is that we each pass it on to the next generation.
And we hurt them the most.
My dysfunctional family is super nice and considerate to strangers and to neighbors but to each other in the family we have no compassion or love at all.
That is really peculiar and irritating to me.
My family will screw and hurt and degrade each other and call it their version of "tough love", so I have tried preaching to them that we have had enough "tough love" and so lets try some compassionate love or caring considerate love but no - they stick to their tough loving which is no love at all.
If we want peace in our own home then we ourselves must make the peace. If we want friends them we must be friendly.
i spend as little time as necessary with my family. this is part of growing up.
((((hugs))))