Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

3,331 Members
10,657 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Codependency Support Group

Hoping I can be strong enough!!

allicat9375
allicat9375
It's been a month since I've seen my boyfriend in tomorrow I'm supposed to go visit him. I'm afraid that I will be talking to spending money on him that I shouldn't.

I'm only 99 days sober so I'm very scared that I will fall into old patterns. Maybe I won't bring my debit card with me and just bring a set amount of cash. I'm just praying that my higher power for the strength to remain in control of my actions.

Sober One Day At A Time~
Allison~Codependent
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi,

Do whatever it takes to set your boundaries and take care of yourself. Your expectation is that he is going to try to get money out of you because you are visiting him? Is that the standard pattern in your relationship?

Good Luck!

Shar
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi,
I find it helps to write a list of the stuff I will and wont do. Keep it in your mind .
allicat9375
allicat9375
Shar I have trouble saying no to everyone not just him.It has been a problem since I was little and it's a trait I picked up from my mom. He says he just wants to see me and have me spend the night with him, I tend to over think things.

trainer - I wrote a note and put it in my wallet.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi allicat,

I finally broke myself of that habit (it was all tangled up with being a nice/good person and kinds of other false beliefs). But do to that, I had to stop telling myself that was wrong/bad/rude to say "no" to people. I had to start telling myself that saying "no" could be a good thing, because I need to decide what is best for me. It is not easy to do, but so worth it. I hope you can figure out what you are telling yourself about this and see if it is not true. also.

Shar
hbgdaystar
hbgdaystar
I used to do that too... what would others think if i disagree or say NO....Over time i learnt its okay to say NO and hear to your inner voice than focusing on what others think.

Google phrase - People Pleaser.

Also if you tend to spend money on others and dont want to, just dont carry any money or cards with you...