Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hey codie family,
How is everyone’s healing journey going?
Right now I feel like I’m at my breaking point with my family.
I’ve pretty much isolated myself from relationships that aren’t 100% supportive (acquaintances, working relationships), and don’t have much time or opportunity to meet other random people — so I don’t act out a lot of codependent behaviors right now.
—BUT it feels like I can’t move forward with my healing until I acknowledge and address the hurt and broken perspectives that my relationship with my parents built. The way they engage with each other and with me right now is so negative and abrasive, it just feels like all the healthy behaviors I built in the limited time away, have just started to buckle.
I feel lot of anger and pain right now.
I stayed this whole week on my boyfriend’s couch, and worked in a shared office (coworking space) everyday, and I felt so much better than I have for the past couple weeks at home. I think I will try to move in here and try to find any job to pay my way because it feels like living with my family has forced me back into the painful source of so many of my codependent behaviors.
Does anyone else have experience with this?
Has anyone faced the details of their dysfunctional family on their way to healing? I don't have an alcoholic/abusive spouse, and I recently quit my last job where I worked for someone who constantly lied and took advantage of the working situation. Trying to start fresh - anyone have advice?
I’m not finding many resources online about healing from emotional childhood abuse, and welcome recommendations.
Asap. When you are around that type of
Negativity after awhile it rubs off on you
and you can find yourself starting to think
Like them.
I remember in early Days how it was around
my mother after Being with her for any length
of time and on her turf. Those old thought
Patterns reappeared in my brain. Its the button
Pushing and the old programming coming out.
Now i listen to my body, thoughts, feelings And
emotions and if something is off, i look At the root
cause if its me then i look further.
Often uncomfortable F&E will bring on stress
And unrest within, thats okay too as long as you
Look at them and face them as hard as they are
To sit with.
See how it goes doing what you are doing
And look for other options if you need them.
I Hope you find a good paying job With no office
stress. I do not want to ever again Work in a building
with lots of personalities. HUGS
I would also advise that you move out also if you are able to , I'm at that stage now where I just want my independence ,.. it is hard learning new ways of behaving
There's a blog called self love u which has some good articles on it .
Right now, my boyfriend is letting me stay with him in an extra room of this apartment in exchange for my covering some minor food costs (a lot less than what rent would be).
I'm treading cautiously because I don't want to harm our relationship while I'm trying to escape my family, but I feel a million times better when I stay there and work on my own (vs. staying at my parents' home).
Thank you all for your encouragement and support. :)
Independent. My mother still sucked me in
As much as possible though. Doing my laundry,
She bought me a dog when i was a senior,
I left him behind with her so i could move Out.
She use to call me every day before i left For
work. Mothers like that are relentless trying to
Keep you snared. HUGS
When that didn't work she started sighing loudly every time I entered the same room, and sent me an email the next day with some clickbait article about how living together destroys relationships.
I've spoken with her many other times about relationships and living together, etc. and I know this is not a personal view that she actually holds.
When I was younger and trying to move out, my mother started to act like an invalid, wondering aloud constantly how she would go about her life or make it to bible study (we carpooled). For reference, my mother is not disabled in any way, my father is still alive and living with her, and my younger sister also lives at home (she's 26 and drives).
When I finally left, my parents would call 5+ times a day and leave threatening messages on my voicemail if I didn't call back immediately. Pretty stark contrast to my experience living at home, where I'd go days without having more than a 2 sentence conversation with them - typically initiated by me.
Really looking forward to extremely minimal contact with them.
All weekend as I was moving, and wondering if they were right about me - that I couldn't make it on my own - and that maybe everything was just in my head (about the abuse). Maybe it wasn't so bad after all and I was just being hyperbolic and led by my emotions. Did I really need to move out and make such a big deal?
I was feeling a pretty crazy, and dragging my feet with the whole move.
But yesterday, my mom started attacking my dad out of nowhere and misrepresenting his character, and then trying to start an argument with me, and it helped to remind me why I felt the move was important - hah. I feel crazy there, and I feel crazy when I think about it. I'm still working to find a balanced place where I'm not reacting, and can see myself and my family for who we all really are.
Thanks, again, for all the support - I'm going to be looking into all the resources listed.