Well, I think most of us (who are recovering alcoholics...) are extremely sensitive people who liked to not feel....bad feelings. For me, I think I partly it was genetically pre-disposed, and partly I wanted to not feel the pain of my family's craziness and desperately needed an escape.

Anyway, I guess it's how we look at it--Twenty seven years later with no alcohol I am still peeling away those protective layers I put in place as a child and teen. But I feel if I term this journey as a never-ending 'struggle' as that character views it, I will miss the happenings that are voiced in "The Promises"-- Remember this is a disease of negativity, and I can wallow in it until the cows come home. Gosh, I cannot count all of the days, weeks, months I have felt that serenity. Goddamnit I just wish it would stay :) It's work isn't it??

That said, I think it's important to voice your pain, frustrations, fears and anxieties. I like this site because we can be honest with expressing our feelings, whatever they may be--

It's work, no doubt about that. I think it's also a process of constantly moving in the direction of recovery. We won't ever reach perfection, but as we work on our recovery we gradually discover our negative traits and behaviors, peel them off and throw them away. I see it as a life-long process, but a lot of good can be done in a lifetime.

And I got the name of the show wrong. It's "Elementary".

AMEN to that! Yes, progress, not perfection, and sometimes a few steps back and one forward, then one back and two forward....you get the idea :)

I'm reading a new book and did some journaling on something that seems relevant to me to share here. Maybe it'll make sense to someone. "Compulsive behavior is therefore related to addiction, while the pain and stress that a person is trying to remove comes from codependence. I often find codependents using alcohol, food, drugs, religion, gambling, work or relationships to try to remove such pain and stress....codependents try to soothe their pain through other forms of addictive behavior, and so they are termed alcoholics, compulsive overeaters, anorexics, sex addicts, religious addicts, workaholics and so on." Pia Mellody.

I'm still in denial about there being no sense of closure but now it'll percolate in the back of my head somewhere until I'm ready for it. Thanks for sharing.