Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Well, after 3 successively bad relationships in a row.....I'm trying to not look for a man to 'save me' 'make my life better' 'secure me' or 'love me'. I hadn't realised what a pattern it had become. How I ignored every warning sign, because i wanted to be needed and i wanted love that badly. My friends say that they've never known anyone like me who just concentrates on the good parts of a person but ignores the bad. They don't understand codepedency.....and I thought every guy was different simply because of difference of age/income/circumstances....I went from a surgeon to an out of work music producer.....a workaholic to a layabout! This is the hard bit....because I'm not saying i never want a relationship with a man again, i'm saying I want my life first and then a relationship full of joy and respect instead of hurt and depression.
When i read the quote about a codependent laying on his death bed and someone elses life passes before him...I cried, because that's me. I know my exes lives more than i know mine. How sad is that?
This weekend everyone i know is busy...so, like my therapist said, i've got to face the feelings of loneliness and understand they're not the same as when i was a child. So, I'm going to bake, visit an art gallery and have some long walks with my dog.....wonder how I'll do?
When i read the quote about a codependent laying on his death bed and someone elses life passes before him...I cried, because that's me. I know my exes lives more than i know mine. How sad is that?
This weekend everyone i know is busy...so, like my therapist said, i've got to face the feelings of loneliness and understand they're not the same as when i was a child. So, I'm going to bake, visit an art gallery and have some long walks with my dog.....wonder how I'll do?
I am here cheering for you... you go girl.. dont focus on how you will do ... enjoy the moments ...
The key is to find things you enjoy.. and do them. And really DO them. Don't go through the motions while you think about something else or someone else.
Live in the moment. Truly enjoy what it is that you're doing. When I am riding my bike, I make a point to enjoy the nature around me. Check out the trees. The clouds in the sky, the birds. Enjoy the experience of the wind rushing around me as I cruise downhill.
Anyway, I wish you luck. I hope you enjoy your baking and a the walks with the dog!
The other suggestion is something I am planning to do once I get through the separation with the divorce: go to meetup.com. Look for groups that interest you. Force yourself to go to some of them. Meet new people that share common interests. Build a whole new support network of people who can help you fill in those awkward moments on weekends when everyone else is busy.
Best of luck. And let us know how it works!
http://www.healyourlife.com/author-louise-l-hay/2011/12/wisdom/inspiration/do-you-love-yourself
Take good care and I hope you cheer up.
One of my favorite lines ever from a movie is "You are supposed to be the leading lady (or man) in your own life!" (or something close to that from The Holiday).
And you really have to think about what you enjoy, if the people around you are supportive, etc. So, I have been having some difficulty with one of my sisters. She and her husband are building a new summer place. My mother is trying to entice me about going. And here is my truth. It does not matter if I am in a nice place, if I am surround by people who are toxic, then I do not want to be there. I will choose not to go and I do not care how nice the place is.
For years, I have played the supporting role, the cheerleader, the support staff in everyone else's life. Not any more. This is it for all of us. We have to choose, and we do not have to be locked into someone else's game unless we choose to be.
Good luck spending time enjoying what you like. :-)
Shar