I am a new member of this group and have been in personal therapy for the past 7 months. I have been married for over 20 years, but have felt myself and my marriage on a steady decline over the past three years perhaps longer. About a year ago I met a man online in a game that I play and he became my best friend. I care about him a lot, and I think it is this relationship that really helped me to confront my husband about the issues that he and I were facing, including a huge disconnect. My husband and I are trying to work things out, and we do go to couples therapy together, but I also still have this other man as my friend. My husband is jealous and calls it an emotional affair, about which I am uncertain. However, the real issue is that I have been helping this man out financially with little things over the past few months. I am open with my husband about it but I basically dont allow discussion about it at this point. I tell him this is what I am doing and thats it. I feel justified because the money has come from a small inheritance my father left for me a couple years ago. At any rate, I have been helping out this other man with things like food money, gas money, and I am not sure, but I think that he may use some of it for purchasing marijuana. I keep waiting for him to say that he doesnt really want to talk to me anymore we tend to disagree on a lot of things, but when I think about him doing that, I cant seem to breathe. Even writing about this I get so emotional. My therapist has said that I have had a copdendent relationship with my husband in the past, but I feel like this is so much more. My emotions are so intense that its very confusing and I feel like I cant even get a proper perspective on things. Im not trying to control him, but I want him to be happy so I do what I can to help him. Im probably enabling him Im just so confused.