Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
family rejection and the ever critical eyes of my sister. she has done so much to hurt me and made me look small and petty and continues with a vengence. i cant ever be a real part of the family. i know that i have posted so much on this and it just bothers me that no matter what she does or says to others it is always ok cause she was drunk and or if not drunk cause she only means the best at all times and never intenionally hurts another. i have to accept this. moving away from those that r not supportive or caring of my feelings is hard. lots of anxiety and fear and frustration. gosh i know that i have to embrace this part of me that was formed long ago but dont like feeling like this. for thanksgiving sister said why dont we get both of our families together at her house of course. i said no want them at my house. boundaires i stood behind my kids would not want to do that either. so looking forward to all of us here together in my house.she makes plans with me and never follows through with the plans and says gosh we dont have time to get together. we do have time to get together but her priorities are to party with friends when we had plans. had a fund raiser for daughter and she was of no help and then get this when she was drunk said that we should live together really? so i can solve her financial problems and have a stuffy room upstairs with her grandkids there all the time and her drunken 12 hour binges with a house hold of heavy drinkers? so they all plan to come to my house later on thanksgiving and i dont even want them to ( her and her kids and grandkids) will stay for 30-60 minutes and act uncomfortable and like they just had to come here to appease me. then she will leave and go party with friends instead of visiting with us. got to love the holidays.
deleted_user
You are looking for love in all the wrong places. She can't love you the way you need to be loved. You have to accept that in order to move forward. You keep banging your head against the wall, and bending over backwards, trying to get things from your sister that she is incapable of giving you. She talks a good game, but all that matters in the end is what she does. Believe what she does, not what she says. You can't recover while still in a relationship with her. It is toxic. She is causing you to have a major inferiority complex, but only you can put an end to that. She won't. She has no reason to. Love yourself enough to find the love you have between yourself and your children/grandchildren to be enough for you. That is good love; what you're getting from your sister is toxic love. I think you know the difference. You can start by having separate thanksgivings with your own families. Perhaps in time your sister will come to see the error of her ways, but I doubt it. People like this can never see their own faults because they survive by blaming their issues on others. But YOU don't have to accept that. Love yourself enough to step away, even if just temporarily. I know, the holidays suck! I personally can't wait til they're over. Never been a fan of this time of year, and no with the separation, impending divorce, and major financial struggles, I just want to crawl in a whole until spring.
sassybabe11
well they wont be here long thats for sure and i did say no to us all going to her house. went a message to nieces and nephews and thats all i am doing. hope they dont come. yes her presence is toxic to me and i dont fall for the crap she talks about herself. i know her and the denial that she is in. she has her followers that think the sun rises and sits around her and they bother me also. need to pray for her and hope that she is happy and let it go. holidays stir up so much especially with the deaths in the family.
deleted_user
You have dealt with enough heavy stuff for the year already - give yourself a break. You don't have to be around her at all if you don't want to. Families are good at laying on the guilt this time of year, but you don't have to fall for it. I'm going to be alone for the first time ever on thanksgiving, but I don't mind because it's better than being a part of a completely dysfunctional family that fakes their way through every holiday, only to talk shit about the rest of them behind their backs the next day. Going to hang out with my pets and count my blessings.
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