Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Ok.
Hoping to get some understanding, positive feedback, suggestions.
Brief history - in Al Anon 2 1/2 years, doing some stuff on step one, experience using 12 steps in other programs.
History of relationships with addicts / alcoholics, history of abuse, received counselng for that.
Currently seeing someone after a year of not dating. He needs help transporting his son and is letting me use his car to do that and help with payments. It has been a good situation for me, I really enjoy both of their company. His newly ex gf is a meth addict alcoholic. He is sober as am I.
I am currently dealing with the ex gf finding out I am using his 2nd car, which he called to tell me about this A M. But she had just gotten my number somehow and called me - maybe their sons talked and she had phone records - they just moved out of living together. She called and asked for me and told me who she was - I met her once years ago when they were together and we realized we knew eachother as kids, she was a friend of my sis. I haven't had contact with her since.
She called to ask how long I was F&^%%*^ him. This is not my business to tell and she sounded vey hostile. I remained silent and pulled the phone from my ear for a while, as I felt it was not good for me to listen, she sid "hello?" and I hung up. I told him about it and he said good for me for hanging up. He's called police on her a couple times in the last month - she is very unstable in her drug habit and he said there is no talking to her - she can be paranoid. He told me to call the police if I need to.
Anyway I am hoping to:
A) not listen to her msgs/ read her texts - I told him he can and I'll let him delete them. That's a start for today.
B) try to live one day at a time
C) pray for her.
D) Go to Al Anon tonight, and I think committing to share would be good :)
Then what ifs...
What if she finds my house and makes a scene?
What about her feelings - am I somehow responsible for getting involved when they're newly broken up? I knew he wanted to keep his business private. I feel like it was not the healthiest choice for me. He told her we are helping eachother out and that it is none of her business who he lets drive his car.
Thanks for any feedback - I know it's not a pretty story. It is helpful for me to put it out there and have some accountability for my behavior and get support for the stress this is causing me :)
Hoping to get some understanding, positive feedback, suggestions.
Brief history - in Al Anon 2 1/2 years, doing some stuff on step one, experience using 12 steps in other programs.
History of relationships with addicts / alcoholics, history of abuse, received counselng for that.
Currently seeing someone after a year of not dating. He needs help transporting his son and is letting me use his car to do that and help with payments. It has been a good situation for me, I really enjoy both of their company. His newly ex gf is a meth addict alcoholic. He is sober as am I.
I am currently dealing with the ex gf finding out I am using his 2nd car, which he called to tell me about this A M. But she had just gotten my number somehow and called me - maybe their sons talked and she had phone records - they just moved out of living together. She called and asked for me and told me who she was - I met her once years ago when they were together and we realized we knew eachother as kids, she was a friend of my sis. I haven't had contact with her since.
She called to ask how long I was F&^%%*^ him. This is not my business to tell and she sounded vey hostile. I remained silent and pulled the phone from my ear for a while, as I felt it was not good for me to listen, she sid "hello?" and I hung up. I told him about it and he said good for me for hanging up. He's called police on her a couple times in the last month - she is very unstable in her drug habit and he said there is no talking to her - she can be paranoid. He told me to call the police if I need to.
Anyway I am hoping to:
A) not listen to her msgs/ read her texts - I told him he can and I'll let him delete them. That's a start for today.
B) try to live one day at a time
C) pray for her.
D) Go to Al Anon tonight, and I think committing to share would be good :)
Then what ifs...
What if she finds my house and makes a scene?
What about her feelings - am I somehow responsible for getting involved when they're newly broken up? I knew he wanted to keep his business private. I feel like it was not the healthiest choice for me. He told her we are helping eachother out and that it is none of her business who he lets drive his car.
Thanks for any feedback - I know it's not a pretty story. It is helpful for me to put it out there and have some accountability for my behavior and get support for the stress this is causing me :)
Hope this helps.
I stuck to my plan - going to Al Anon and sharing helped me feel accountable, as was sharing this here.
Unfortunately I did not stick to ignoring her msgs - I ignored the voice msg, but read the texts from her - hurtful. I ended up feeling upset and venting to him about it, which turned into a vent fest on his part. Anyway I think not responding or reacting to her left her sort of giving up - for now.