Hi, I did experience the fear of being alone after I divorced my husband who was an active alcoholic and these are the things that helped me combat the loneliness:

1) Attended at least three meetings a week (Al-anon and CoDA);

2) Spent time with my sponsor working the Steps of recovery;

3) Began to spend time with people in program who were also on a journey of recovery from codependence;

4) Took good care of myself daily, (exercise, nutrition, rest, hygiene, play)

5) Spent time with people I trusted from my church;

6) Engaged in individual counseling with a therapist familiar with and supportive of the 12 Steps of recovery.

7) Followed the suggestion I received to not date and avoid starting a new romantic relationship for at least a year, to allow me to work on myself and figure out how to avoid getting into a subsequent dysfunctional relationship.

Hope that helps!

Grace

I say it helps to know that everybody has a fear of being alone.

I live happy and comfortably alone but I do not like being alone.

To like being alone, and taking in alone time, and having space is all super fine, but none of that is equal to being lonely.

There is a song that sooths me that you might know that goes some thing like this;

" Left a wife and kid in Baltimore Jack, went out for a ride and never went back ... everybody's got a hungry heart, ain't nobody wants to be alone ... "

There are many other big hit "lonely" type of songs because we are not alone in the feeling that being alone really sucks.

Yes, mystery, I have experienced that fear many times in the past. I was in relationship after relationship to avoid it. Finally, 2 years ago I took a 13 month vow of celibacy. Then after 13 months I got into another relationship, this time only a few weeks. That was over a year ago and I've been abstinent ever since. So I guess what I did to help myself was to step into the fear and confront my shadow. I've discovered a lot about myself on this journey.

Did you give so much in your previous relationship that you gave up yourself? If so, then making yourself a priority may mean embracing your fear and choosing to be alone for awhile. I admit it has been challenging, and yet very rewarding! For me, fear of being alone was fear of the unknown. Stepping into the unknown this year has been the best year of my life...

There is an old saying... that which you fear the most is what you will attract. What has helped me most is to play "what if" with myself.
What if I wasn't afraid to be by myself ... what would I do.
Doing all those things has given me the opportunity to meet alot of interesting people and no be alone. I am single, but that is not the same as being alone.
Good Luck, Stay Strong

I was terrified. I went from having a huge number of friends, parties, music venues and a job teaching dance to being entirely alone The fear of walking into my empty house was my biggest challenge. This is a time where I have been forced to look at me and I would never have done it if circumstances did not force it. The people who I now spend time with are people in fellowships where honest and open discussions take place. I wanted an open and honest relationship with my ex, it never happened. Now I have that in abundence with people who are basically strangers.