Spent last week with daughter and grandbabies for 2 nights. What happened to tolerance of those helping you out? Had a fund raiser for her and took the money to them as they had a premie and have lots of bills and she has not been able to return to work. As usual I was walking on eggs. Told me not to use her toothpaste as she got sick last time I did. Dont move the tv as we loose the cable ( loved tv so I could see it while I took care of the baby so she could take the other 2 to the doc). Wanted left over pizza for breakfast and she said that I could not eat pizza in front of the 4 year old and not let her. I said I did not tell her that she could not eat pizza you did. Tells me dont do my laundry it makes more work she says for her if it is setting around and she has to put it up. I was so depressed and stressed about this. I was like wow your rules around here are just alittle over the top. She says yes they are the rules here. Have fun with grandbabies and she says that it takes days for them to get her back into a routine after I am there. It is always like that and I just feel like crying as I want a closeness with them and feel bad about myself when I leave to come home. I know this is the victim role. Take her nice clothes for the kids and spent a lot on Christmas presents. After I leave she always calls me over and over and thanks me for helping like she is feeling guilty. What does one do? Stay in a motel is a thought as I am again walking on eggshells when I am there and the same happens when I am at my sons. Grasping for connections that I dont have with my SO or family here and just feel loss and depressed. Know that I am responsible for taking care of myself and creating a life for me. Its just exhausting and I leave feeling empty and confused. Did I cause my children to resent me so much by the things that I did wrong with having such a messed up step father around them. Its not just me her husbands mom feels the same way when she is there and is hurt also. Getting more isolated why cant my visits be a comfort? I spend so much money and time visiting them to feel like I am inferior to her.