Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
In reading Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie, I took the suggestion to make a family geneology. I am hoping in doing what the chapter says "Coming to terms with family of origin work" I will break through patterns and my present.
It was a very simple excersize, to write down grandparents and put their name in a box, then on another line add parents and any other significant relatives, than on another line add yourself and siblings. (I added cousins and aunts/uncles, I have a small family).
It suggested writing down whatever comes to mind and keep it simple. We are characterizing people and it is ok to write, it is ok to put this on paper. Each persons role, what is good and bad, our relatinship with them.
It seems so "taboo" to think these thoughts out loud and it is so healing. I found myself wanting to cry. I realize I had loving family we all just didn't know how to show it. We look at our relationship with each of the people and notice our feelings about the messages.
I am able to see more clearly how my present situation is largely defined by not being conscious of my family history. It is really eye opening to see myself and each of us as part of the family.
I think this approach is very helpful if I am to get past this pattern of codependent behavior.
Has anyone related their patterns to family of origin issues?
It was a very simple excersize, to write down grandparents and put their name in a box, then on another line add parents and any other significant relatives, than on another line add yourself and siblings. (I added cousins and aunts/uncles, I have a small family).
It suggested writing down whatever comes to mind and keep it simple. We are characterizing people and it is ok to write, it is ok to put this on paper. Each persons role, what is good and bad, our relatinship with them.
It seems so "taboo" to think these thoughts out loud and it is so healing. I found myself wanting to cry. I realize I had loving family we all just didn't know how to show it. We look at our relationship with each of the people and notice our feelings about the messages.
I am able to see more clearly how my present situation is largely defined by not being conscious of my family history. It is really eye opening to see myself and each of us as part of the family.
I think this approach is very helpful if I am to get past this pattern of codependent behavior.
Has anyone related their patterns to family of origin issues?
thank you, i will give it a try!
It's always puzzled me. I need to research this.
hugs
Then I was better able to see the way I interacted with the 'adults' and the way they were interacting with me.
It was tough trying to undo codependent relating patterns, as change is tough. Plus I was older, thirties, with ways more ingrained.