Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
im sad.. everytime there's a long holiday. i always wish that my recovering addict ex gets back to me.. reach out to me... how did all of this happen? why did it turn upside down all of a sudden.. how long will this take? i just relapsed in terms of checking for pictures of him online.
i miss him a lot. but its been too long.. 9 months now.. i am afraid to forget and fully let go. why is God allowing this. why couldnt he just allow things to work out? i see a lot of my friends getting married.. happy.. being able to spend quality yime with their partners esp during holidays and vacations. why did i not get to reach that point.. ? makes me question that other people are better and deserving than me...
i saw his pictures and he still attends mtgs... thats good for him. i stopped my support mtgs.. i guess im scared and not comfortable and not ready to fully surrender.. and the people very much reminds me of him. i am not comfortable that they get to hear both our stories while i dont...
in the bigger scheme of things i sense God is allowing this pain to move us to change. but why is he changing me too this hard? why do i have to feel inadequate...
sometimes i feel like bcos i quit the mtgs God will not allow him back in my life..
does my ex even think of me? does he think im causing him to relapse? evenso.. even if iv got the worst attitude, which i think i dont, im imperfect yes
.. am i that unlovable and tolerable worth fighting for by a partner? i mean i always hear in 12 step readings that it is us most of all that must recognize our worth, fight for ourselves.. but would not it be very nice if someone cared enough to stay and swallow pride and ego?
how come others have that companionship loyalty from a partner.. but i dont...
i know God is always with me.. but i wish there was a warm loving body by my side.
i miss him a lot. but its been too long.. 9 months now.. i am afraid to forget and fully let go. why is God allowing this. why couldnt he just allow things to work out? i see a lot of my friends getting married.. happy.. being able to spend quality yime with their partners esp during holidays and vacations. why did i not get to reach that point.. ? makes me question that other people are better and deserving than me...
i saw his pictures and he still attends mtgs... thats good for him. i stopped my support mtgs.. i guess im scared and not comfortable and not ready to fully surrender.. and the people very much reminds me of him. i am not comfortable that they get to hear both our stories while i dont...
in the bigger scheme of things i sense God is allowing this pain to move us to change. but why is he changing me too this hard? why do i have to feel inadequate...
sometimes i feel like bcos i quit the mtgs God will not allow him back in my life..
does my ex even think of me? does he think im causing him to relapse? evenso.. even if iv got the worst attitude, which i think i dont, im imperfect yes
.. am i that unlovable and tolerable worth fighting for by a partner? i mean i always hear in 12 step readings that it is us most of all that must recognize our worth, fight for ourselves.. but would not it be very nice if someone cared enough to stay and swallow pride and ego?
how come others have that companionship loyalty from a partner.. but i dont...
i know God is always with me.. but i wish there was a warm loving body by my side.
We are so good at still focusing on that other person, aren't we? At my ripe old age I am still brought back to the same conclusion: I need to fill that hole or well inside me myself before I can attempt another relationship. I got that desperate feeling again this week about "Bob" and that's all about me, not him.
We are worthy of love and to be loved, to have a healthy relationship, to not depend on the other for our happiness--but that foundation of beliefs has to start from within ourselves....and it's a hell of a lot of work!! LOL I am an impatient soul who wants everything by yesterday, who must have a bit of Obsessive thinking, too. A few people have suggested writing, so I think I'll try that on this site--getting back to meetings us a must for me, and one I am doing tomorrow.
God is there for you....We all have our own set of beliefs about a higher power or lack of...so I don't want to step on anyone's toes here. I believe he/she/it will guide me if I am willing to move forward and focus on healing within.
You are strong, lovable, worth being happy-my montra for the day!!