Good Morning miranda, trying to work through the letdown from the most recent contact with a person who has detached from me . I try to be the bigger person and cordial , which seems to irritate the detacher into perhaps thinking that I don't realize their disdain ? I do of course but do not want to sink to their level of disrespect. I am grateful that I don't have it in me to be so heartless as this person. It's a relief actually to know that I cannot take on the same passive aggressive behaviour to hurt someone that had once professed to love. It's taken me a long time and much convincing by others who care for me to absorb that it's the other person not me who has a serious problem. I realize that my story is a different angle on codependency . I have given up hope that there can ever be a resolution between the detacher and myself, and I am actually fine with that. In fact if it weren't for some innocent people who are involuntarily dragged into the situation, and who do want to be around me I would no longer bother with this person. I'm afraid that I've already witnessed the punishment of these innocent parties as the detacher puts revenge ( for who knows what ) before the happiness of these parties.

Family dynamics are tough.

All of this stuff is about codependency
IMHO. Dysfunctional and/or abusive
Homes create codependent children.

So much of MH issues come from those
Same homes. Depends on the severity
Of abuse, dysfunction or crazy the child
Had Lived in. We all handle it differently
Too.

In Most dysfunctional families there are a mix
of Types of members . Some are abusive
and act out. To me Passive Aggressiveness
Is resentments and anger. We can be PA too
In indirect ways.

Was there addiction, abuse, MH issues in
Your upbringing?

Toxic people are people you try to stay
Away from if you can. They will never
Hear you or see you.

Dr henry cloud writes two good books
people seem to like "Boundaries" and
"safe people" . i have learned most of
My stuff in Alanon and therapy, Hugs

My thoughts at the moment. We look to be the nice people; we want everyone to be nice people. I think I trip myself up by believing everyone could be a nice person, in spite of evidence to the contrary. That they could be seems to be my stumbling block. Hugs to all.

Blueish. here is a good article on toxic people.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/whats-a-toxic-person-how-do-you-deal-with-one/