Matt called lastnight- and it was like talking to a entirely different person...he was calm and rational and he just totally blew me away with the things he said and how he acted....i'm still not moving in with him and don't know how he is gonna take it when i tell him that on friday face to face- he will probably cry... i love the man- but he has to prove to me that he loves me too- pretty words on paper won't fool me again.. i need actions ..... the she devil aka ( Karen) called him lastnight- she said she wanted to come back to him- he said no- and she cried- her family wouldn't let her drive her car and had blocked her in the driveway- blah blah blah... i was like omg- she's 40 !!!!! but she is letting them treat her like she's 4- so her bad.... instead of breaking down over her- he totally got angry and went out and smashed the rest of the things she left and said she didn't want- i was like - u go Boy !! i said i'm very proud of u for handling this like a man and not a child... he giggled and said thanks- and we had a great talk... unfortunately this was 330 this morning and he has to work today- so it wasn't a long conversation....i just have to wonder- i waited for 8 months for this man to change- has he really or is he just putting up a really good front? i guess i have til May to figure it out- but its really puzzling- i guess i kinda do depend on him- he is my rock and he is also the rock that crushes me- i know makes no sense- but he is both my friend and my enemy .... and once again i'm so confused........
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