I was thinking about asking the same exact question. As far as support, I realize that I won't get support from my wife so I look to friends, this group, and CoDA for support. It has helped.

I go to counseling alone, if my partner doesn't see the need for it. I attend CoDA and Al-Anon meetings regularly because I get the emotional and spiritual support there, that my partner cannot give me at this time in his life; I trust my Higher Power to keep "together" my family in the way that is in my best and highest good, and I do not presume I know what that way is; I don't try to "keep the peace" at the expense of my own emotional and spiritual well-being. I nurture and develop peace within me, which is the only way I will find peace in the rest of my life, and that comes from a relationship with a Higher Power, not any one individual in my physical life.

Firstly thankyou for coming to this group Tray, I think you will get some benefit from it.

As I already suggested I think you will benefit from going to a CoDA group in your area.

I have read alot of information which says that in healthy relationships we should seek emotional support from your partner rather than seeking it elsewhere.

Well in my own case I have decided that when the way my wife treats me amounts to emotional abuse that I cannot expect emotional support from her.

What I need is emotional support to allow me to cope with my situation on a day to day basis, support I get from people on DS and CoDA meetings.

It is quite likely that my wife might consider me talking about my personal situation some type of betrayal of her. In truth I believe that when she tries to trample on any boundries I try to put in place then I have a right to express my feelings somewhere. I decide on my actions and are responsible to no one except my higher power.

It is ok to seek support Tray.

I think you need to take care of yourself. It's like the cleshe saying you may be sick of hearing - put your own oxygen mask on first, then help your children with theirs (and sorry if this is cleshe). If you feel you could use counseling, it's okay to go by yourself even if he doesn't like it. The measures you take to get support will help not only you but also your family.