Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I am in the scond week of being separated from my husband. After a week of detoxing in the hospital, he left because he isnt sure what he wants. He is having an affair with an old girlfriend who is also a drinker. My daughter's wedding is in 4 months and right now all I am is a mess. I havent told my family or my friends. I feel paralyzed with sadness,anger,humiliation. how do I even start to think I will have a life after this? I hold it together during the workday, but the evenings and weekends are hell being alone and knowing he is with someone else. Any advice would be helpful and appreciated thanks
You will be miserable and a mess, possibly for a good while, but eventually, one day, you will wake up and realise that you actually feel a little bit human again. And you will eventually find yourself smiling again, and then one day you will laugh, and one day you will find yourself feeling as though life is actually ok. And you will be proud of yourself for having made your way through this hard time and these awful feelings. And eventually, you will start to see things a little more clearly. As they say, hindsight is an amazing thing. And at some point, you might see some things in a very different way than you do right at this moment.
You WILL have a life after this but I think that you need to give yourself some time to move through all the things you mentioned above- the pain, sadness, anger, etc. Give yourself some time.
And maybe once you start to tell your family and friends, then they will help distract you and hopefully, that might help make some of your evenings and weekends a little less hellish. There is a lot to be said for distraction, and the love and support from friends and family can help a lot at a time like this.
Take care and I hope you start to feel better soon :)
"Whose heart is filled with anguish and sorrow? Who is always fighting and quarreling? Who is the man with bloodshot eyes and many wounds? It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new mixtures. Don't let the sparkle and the smooth taste of strong wine deceive you. For in the end, it bites like a poisonous serpent; it stings like an adder. You will see hallucinations and have delirium tremens, and you will say foolish, silly things that will embarrass no end when sober. You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. And afterwards, you will say, "I didn't even know it when they beat me up . . . Let's go and have another drink!"
Amazing, this book was written thousands of years ago and the words are still so prescient and relevant today! Guess the message here is, if it's any consolation, your man is hurting too, believe me.