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Confusing Abusive Friend

staceypin
staceypin
I have a girlfriend who I have known for 4 years, our kids went to the same school and we have spent a lot of time together, for along time I thought she was a positive friend.
Several months ago thing took a turn for the worst she started hanging up the phone on me for no reason, telling me she didn't have time for me anymore she has other friends, she told me that she didn't like what I talked about anymore, family situations, ect.., she told me she was going to stop calling me because I never answer my phone, she got mad at me telling me that I work too much and she stormed away from me when I tried to talk to her telling me she didn't care what I had to say. Well several weeks have passed now and It has been hard but I have completely let her go and all of her mixed messages and abuse. I started listening to Coda tapes and going to Coda meetings. Well today I ran into this girl and she acted rather childlike and said to me, Lets forget all of this and be friends again! Honesty, I am kinda afraid to be friends with her again because I was so hurt by her before. What should I do? Any suggestions?
koolman
koolman
I read your other post, and your friend is obviously going through some conflicting feelings about something herself. I'd say "yeah, we can be friends", but, tread lightly, don't allow her into your heart and life QUITE so much!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I personally would not have her back into my life. But if that is your decision, I would just keep it at a distant, and at the first sign that she is trying to control how much you talk to her or what you need to talk about I would just walk out.good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Stacy ... I am also in the same boat! I have let a few friendships go in the last couple of months! As the feelings of lonliness and dependency lift and we become stronger we begin to view things differently and It is sad to learn that people that have been such an important part of our lives for a long time are toxic and no good for us. Letting go was the toughest part for me. I use to find myself saying Oh well I have to keep speaking to her so I won't be alone. Well today I enjoy peace and I am allset with the drama of my exbest friend. Good luck with your situation Nikki B
deleted_user
deleted_user
People do make mistakes. We are all human, but there is a difference between an honest error and blatent abuse. Its up to you if you want to accept her apology. Just try not to hold a grudge (that only hurts you).

I would be leary of someone who has shown her true colors. Just like if she were a guy, would you accept this behavior from a BF? Probably not. Girls play by the same rules. Tigers don't change their stripes ever. However you are treated now, is all you will ever get in the future.

God mad 6 billion people for you to meet. Why hang around with the same screwed up ones?