Don't despair, there is help for us who feel like that.
Find yourself a CoDa group to join, and attend the meetings regularly. Start working on the 12 step program, one step at a time, ( you can find it on the coda website) and you can slowly but surely come to realize that you can be happy, that you can love yourself.
Also you will find wonderful support from the great members on this site............well done for making a start to changing the way you will go forward from here. ((hugs))

My mother is a perfectionist, and I find being around her absolutely nerve-grating. My dad's a little bit more laid-back, but he has his OCD moments too. Needless to say, while I love them, I limit my time around them. They kill my "flow", my "mojo", which is considerably more slobby, but warm and fun.

Instead of trying to find some absolute of perfectionism, when there, naturally, is no such thing, focus instead on getting on some universal flow of how you want to feel, and follow that. Be kind to yourself. No one is perfect. Find a tone, within yourself, that is "agreeable".

Work on the outside, the hair, the makeup, too, if that pleases you. Sometimes working from the outside in does indeed enrich the inside.

Do you know how to express love? Hugs, kisses, etc. If not, don't sweat it--my family's a bit short-changed in that arena too. I've had to discover this in my own time and own way, but, due to my family experiences, it's very difficult for me to completely let someone in. It takes time.

I came from a very judgemental, strict family and for most of my life had been very harsh on myself, on everything from my appearance to my inner self. I wasn't very happy, either and it took me to some very low points in my life. When I finally was at my lowest, I decided that I was unhappy because I chose to beat myself up constantly and never treat myself nice.

I looked up the 12 step program on the internet and websites on codependency and began to educate myself on how to treat myself. It is still a struggle at times, but overall it has been very rewarding because I am happier, healthier, and starting to love myself even though I'm not perfect. I wish you the best, and it does get better!

thanks everyone

I am seeing my life coach. I feel really CRAP for treating my partner like i have - all he has done is love me and i seem to throw it back at him. He has been so good - and i think by leaving him all my problems will be solved! when it comes from family not him .,despite the fact that my mixed relationship if very hard, and im struggling to cope with the pressures and how my family are towards it.

Pleasure.

For me, the main problem is my relationship with my mother. I'm really, carefully looking at that. She buries her tender feelings in work; is a workaholic, and has tried to make me that way her whole life, overlooking simple pleasures and the finer things. To her, life has to be a struggle and sucky, in the interest of earning our "angel wings" and gaining a strong foothold in the hereafter. Her thinking seems somewhat logical, but also somewhat flawed and stupid. I think, when she gets to the hereafter, God is going to look at her a bit bewilderedly, and ask her why she drove herself down to a nub while she was here, and didn't stop and smell the roses a bit more, be lazy and veg once in awhile. She simply can't relax--has to obsess about everything and work work work.