Hi All,

I've been in a relationship for over 6 six years. Long story short, I'm codependent and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend is narcissistic. I've been working on recovering for about a year but there is another thing here as well. Commintment phobia. I've been resisting to commitment for more than a year. I've read a few articles on the topic and have been reading a book but I'm not completely clear about it yet. One of the articles said that it's due to ambivalent feelings.
My mom used to keep me in a "golden cage" when I was a child. Her love was conditional and she made me love her by manipulating me whilst she was controlling and often hurt me physically and verbaly. This behaviour makes a child love and hate it's parent at the same time. When the child grows up he desperately looks for relationship (just like a codependent) but when it's time to commit the person withdraws as he is unconsciously affraid of being loved and commited. He's subconscious mind associates love with pain.
I think this might be what's happening to me but I haven't had a chance to work it out yet. I think when I've managed to recover from codependency and perhaps I've found the right partner who doesn't want to change and control me this commitment issue will go away as well. This is just what I feel.
I would really appreciate any useful comments. I'm very curious about your opinion, people.
Thank very much.