This is my first post on this site and I'd really like some advice. I am very confused.

I am currently in a relationship with a man, and we've been together about 5 months. I have codependency issues but have been working on myself for years so I've made a lot of progress but still have the tendency to slip, sometimes quite quickly. Anyway, my boyfriend is very confident, charismatic, outgoing, and highly independent. In the first few months of dating before we became official, he was texting/calling me quite often, initiating conversations, planning dates and trying to be close with me. It's been really hard for me because after we became official, I really started to think about our differences and how there are things that I need in a relationship that I am not getting from him. I am unhappy and I'm confused, is this just me or is it because of him? I'll explain.

Even after we became official and had gotten past that beginning part of the relationship with all that oxytocin, I felt like we were really getting close. He was telling me all the time how he could see himself marrying me and having kids with me, and that he loves me. But when I'd stay over at his house and he had to leave early in the morning for work around 6 am, he continuously would make me leave and go home. This was okay at first, but when things started to progress and he continued to kick me out in the mornings, I had to say something. I told him it isn't fair that he won't allow me to sleep a few more hours and lock up when I leave, that I feel like some girl he is just sleeping with and doesn't want to let me get too close to him. He has a busy schedule, with work and school, and instead of dates, it turned into us spending time with each other at night when I'd get off of work. He distanced himself from me and broke up with me after I told him several times I don't feel important when he makes me leave every morning and won't even tell me why he doesn't want me in his house when he isn't there. He'd give me a different reason every time, or he just wouldn't talk about it. When we got back together, I decided to try to be happy for a month (per my therapist), no nagging or complaining or arguing....and it worked. We got closer, he wanted to talk to me and spend more time with me. He began telling me he loves me again, he wants to marry me, he loves spending time with me. He just wanted me to be happy. I told him I want to be happy as well, but two people have to work on the relationship together. It can't just be me letting everything go to keep the peace. I told him, as I have before, that I like romance, thoughtfulness, little gestures that let me know he cares and loves me and appreciates me. I do those things for him. I make dinner for him, baked brownies for him to surprise him since he had been saying for a week that he was craving brownies, cleaned up his kitchen several times when he needed it but was too busy with school and work, have taken off early repeatedly at work to spend time with him or to try to spend time with him. He's done things too but I honestly feel like I am making more of an effort and I am not getting what I need out of this relationship. When he was on summer break from school and had the full weekends off, he was spending them with his family and friends, not even trying to make any time for me. We had broken up around that time after he repeatedly spent weekends away, not inviting me to anything, texting me a few times a day but not responding back to me (basically it was him saying good morning and good night). He spent the first two weekends with me after we had gotten back together, and that's when things started to get better. We got closer, we started joking and laughing again, things felt great. I felt happy. He was happy. But then we had an argument, about a week ago. It was about the fact that he turned his phone off on a friday night, without calling or texting me anything. I had no idea what was going on when I called him and his phone was off. We both have trust issues and agreed to work on them with each other, so I was surprised when his phone was off and had not received any sort of contact from him that night. I freaked out and had to calm myself down, because i immediately thought he had turned his phone off because he was with another girl. He never turns his phone off, and he always says something to me, if nothing else, he says good night. The next day he apologized and said he simply went to bed. The other part of the argument was when we were together one night, it was late, and his phone rang twice in a row while we were lying in bed. I NEVER am concerned with his phone or with who calls, but it was late and I remembered how a girl had called him on a saturday night months ago....and found out it was an ex who wanted to sleep with him. Anyway, I asked if he was going to check his phone. He said no. I told him it'd make me feel better if he checked it, and that I kind of wanted to know who it was. He refused, telling me it didn't matter who called and he was only concerned with me, not his phone. It seemed shady to me and I started spiraling. He finally checked his phone after he refused for a half hour. He said it was his best friend but I still didn't believe him. I didn't understand why he put up such a fight about it. The next day we talked it out, and I started to feel better about it. But things haven't been the same since. I've been feeling really insecure, he still hasn't made any efforts on his part. No sweet gestures, still made me leave his house the other morning at 5:30 am when I had driven all the way to his house the night before at 10 pm to see him. He hasn't been texting or calling as much. No joking around unless we are together. The communication bothers me. I like to be close to my boyfriend, like really good friends who can talk to each other whenever and don't spend a whole day before replying back to a text or a call. We just talked about this stuff the other day and he said he understands, he will do whatever it takes to make me happy. But it's the weekend, and he's not around. He texted me this morning but was kind of distant. Sent a text tonight, I responded and he never replied back.

I know this is all confusing and jumbled, but I'm panicking. I am very unhappy and depressed. I feel really alone in this relationship. I want him to buy me flowers and be sweet and show me that I am important to him, not just say it to me. Actions speak louder than words, right? I don't know if I am expecting too much, being too dramatic, if I'm slipping into my codependency patterns, or if my boyfriend is just not making much of an effort to be with me. Any advice would help me tremendously. Thank you.