Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I'm sorry, I don't really know how to work this website, but I'm going through a situation I've had anxiety about happening for years. It's like my entire world falling apart.
The day has come that, someone I've made myself dependent on for my happiness - our relationship's finally crumbling. I didn't realize how much I depended on him for happiness; and that I don't know how to validate or make myself happy.
We spoke daily for years and years. He understood every fibre of my being, and cared enough to try and improve it. He addressed every issue of my past, made me realize that the abuse I went through as a child wasn't normal, and made me feel for the first time in my life that I wasn't lying about it. He helped me learn about self-respect. Our friendship, our love was about more than that though. We shared hobbies that my life revolves around, and he became such an integral part of my world. The center of it. Nobody could make me feel like he could.
It might have been a purely online relationship, but that just made it all the more special. Our little chatroom was our paradise away from everyone else, our escape from the real world. There, he was all mine and I was his. There was never a romantic side to our relationship, but we still love each other deeply. However, I've been... For at least six years, quietly terrified of the day it would crumble and he'd move on.
Without any real warning or reason, that's happening. We still care for each other, but I think the weight of our relationship has turned things sour for him - he said that he loved me, but he was dreading having to come online to see me. I was stronger earlier today, and I advised that we take a long break from each other. I said that I'd learn to be independent, that I'd center my world around myself rather than him. He said that he could make no promise that he'd be back in my life, and he should treat this as if he's leaving forever.
I'm riddled with social anxiety. I'm desperate to support myself with a job while I study, to learn to drive for more independence and freedom (especially given I'm 23), but I'm... so scared of getting a job because I feel like I'm a failure, that I can't do anything right and I'm terrified of people seeing and talking about how useless I am.
When I was involved in domestic disputes, he was there for me;
When I was studying, he was there for me with praise and support;
When-ever I showed the smallest inkling of feeling insecure, he was there for me with love and consistancy;
Whenever I was down, he was there for me with dry and cheeky humor he knew would make me laugh; and so so so so much more.
And now, in a course of... days, six+ years of that has crumbled.
He advised I read into psychological research about 'codependency'. And I am. I never realized it, but I'm codependent. I'm so, so codependent on him for my happiness and validation that I don't know how to live for myself.
God, please help me. My worst nightmare is coming to life and it hurts so bad. I don't know how to be the center of my own universe.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Wish you well
Angie
God Bless
group. Therapy alone would be a good first step for your social
anxiety issues.
There is lot of online Information on being A codie. Being a codie
is a deep issue and its not an easy one to change, fix or control.
Self love and self acceptance take a long time to work thru and to
begin to get in there. It can be a long hard road. Reparenting and
retraining Ourselves to become emotionally healthy mature adult.
You are young keep reaching out for healthy help And support.
You are an adult now and you need to face Yourself and your
issues as hard they are.
In a healthy relationship both people should have self love
Onboard and both people should have good strong healthy
boundaries in place. Otherwise it can start to fall apart after
Awhile and become dysfunctional and/or codependent.
IMHO
Many codies will attract narcs or addicts, who better than a
Codie to take care of them and put them first and foremost.
Not saying your XBF is either one he could be emotionally
Unavailable or an avoidant personality type. Hard telling with
Being online only relationship. HUGS