Hey welcome onedayatatime Best advice I've I received from this sight is" live in the present" Also I'm currently reading codependency for dummies by Darlene Lancer should try it and listening to her vlogs

Thank you caramal! Sounds like good advice! Ill remember that next time im feeling overwhelmed and i start to worry to much. I will definitely check out that book!! Thank you!

For me it's been allowing myself to worry down to the bottom. I find mental 'overthinking' actually has a design and a pattern. If you let the overthinking complete it comes to rest. It comes to rest on solid ground. Allowing yourself to have all the time to think all the thoughts relating to this one issue, without distracting or allowing anxiety, shame, pain, panic to distract it (just stop and let them wash over you as part of the process) - and also without trying to make the feelings end by racing off and doing anything (don't do a damn thing about this issue till you have completed this process no matter what the pressure) - will permit you to come to firm, clear, simple solutions. You can tell you have got to them because they resonate and make you laugh.

That's right. The final result of a full and complete overthink is laughing. And the joy is released and comes back out.

So either don't start, or don't stop. But never do it half arsed. It's a growth process whose end result is wisdom and peace.

Thanks for the advice. Its worth a try if i cant control it. I find it extremely frightening that everything i read said this codependency thing is a life long battle. Its a struggle everyday. I just want to be happy. I hope this gets easier.

Nothing is a lifelong battle unless you fail to win it.

Play to win. Conquer. Identify, break it down, clear it away. and remember the 80:20 rule. 80% of your stress is going to be coming from the 20% biggest problems. Get rid of them and everything suddenly becomes manageable.

Thank you! Can i ask how long you have been dealing with this? Also i only have a couple close friends. One lives in another state. The other lives right across the street but due to the fact she's very busy with her life and is currently trying to adopt her 2 yr old foster son , her life is in a completely different phase then mine. We are only a yr apart in age, but my youngest is 15 and my other 2 have moved out already. So we don't see each other much. Start hanging out with someone else who i met thru a mutal friend. Due to her messed up life all the sudden she has dropped off the radar. I guess getting rid of stresser includes people too. Just having troubles finding friends. Its tuff at my age.

Hi Onedayatatime73, You are doing exactly what you should be doing and that is reaching out to others. I would not term codependency as a life-long "battle" because once you have the tools and start focusing on taking care of yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually), things get easier and easier. I have been codependent as far back as I can remember (even as a small child) and I'm 51 now. I started my journey of recovery 12 years ago and my life is amazingly different today! Yes, I will always be codependent because that my nature and sometimes things pop up and I catch myself falling back into old ways. I wouldn't consider it a battle because I can easily catch myself and know what I need to do to stay healthy. Hope that make sense. I just don't like the term "battle" I guess. LOL. It does get easier and life does become more peaceful and enjoyable!!! Hang in there!

Thanks for that! Some days i get overwhelmed very easy. Like today. Got in touch with my ins to find out what it covers for a counselor. Any specialist is a 100.00 co pay. Not a number i can afford. So i start stressing on how I'll recover and get stronger on my own. Very frustrating! One day at a time i guess.

I just reread tgat. Lol....ill have to check out your blog

There is tons of information out there on the internet for you to check out. You have to be willing to do the work (just reading about it won't help you recover) but it is so worth it. Send me a message anytime you like.

Thanks. I know just reading won't get me there. Reading codependency for dummies now. Sounds like there are tips on what i need to do. I know seeing someone is the best way to go. Just a matter of finding one i can afford. If thats possible. My ins sucks. If i cant find one i need to find a way to do it on my own. There has to be something out there to give me direction.