Codependents anonymous meetings. Work the 12 steps.

Melody Beattie has some excellent book on the subjects that bring awareness, which can lead to growth and change

The info that I believe to be accurate and helpful is on the codependency link below;

www.DocumentsSite.BraveHost.com

That info tells us how to view the condition and how it applies and then we must incorporate it into our own lives.

The study of codependency is very interesting because it studies the relationships between all people so I find recovery work to be very fun in many ways.

I haven't seen a shrink or read any books. Here's a list of things I chose to do in my circumstance. I was highly insecure,and had no real boundaries set in place. Due to that,I was always getting angry when someone stepped over my supposed visible boundaries! LOL

1)Daily affirmation. I found this step hard! I had so many negative programs running about myself,it was hard to find good things about me(even little ones) and look myself in the mirror. Over time,whenever I felt anxious or depressed,this turned into an automatic reaction.

2)Decide what your boundaries are,and set them solid. Whenever I used to get into a heated discussion with my husband,I used to stick around until the name calling started and just took it. My first boundary was explaining to my husband that when I felt personally attacked with name calling,I would tell him at the time,and end the heated debate. No negotiation there. You set the boundaries that you've been afraid to enforce in the past. It might take people in your life time to adjust(some will flat out battle you on them),but you have to stand up for what you believe,and what makes you feel empowered in life.

3)Joining groups like this help in the art of communication. Discussing your problems,supporting others who feel alone,here,you're NEVER alone! Not everyone will agree with each other,but being communicative and open to others ideas and opinions is never a bad thing. You take away what is helpful and you're able to at the time,and merely discard that which doesn't.

4) Accept yourself faults and all. Learn to find the good things in yourself(instead of just focusing on the negative).

5)Get involved with things that you never would have had the guts to do in the past. Everyone has dreams and goals. Maybe yours is to go bungy jumping? Perhaps it's going to University? Perhaps it's taking a trip? I know when I'm on my deathbed,I don't want a huge list of things I always should have or could have done that never got fulfilled. Life is too short to deny yourself some satisfaction and invigoration!!

Hugs,

I really must say that some posters here really need to write their own books about codependency as they understand it.

Especially "Choam" above, and others like "PF 123" and "Cemetary" who obviously know what codependency is all about.

Choam could make 5 chapters out of her 5 listings in her post above here. Of course I would rather say a chapter on Boundaries, and another chapter on Self Esteem, then High Power, Inner Child, etc., etc.

Many here know that I have tried to write my version of codependency into a book and it is now pending with an online publisher so I might get published some day.

www.DocumentsSite.BraveHost.com

There are just not enough codependency books in this world and it is like AA in that a recovering codependent person will often know better then the experts know.

The first poster here is much like myself in searching for realistic information, and my insurance will not pay for Codependency because it is not a mental illness, and the people at Al-Anon know more about Codependency then any shrink that I ever met.

Us people have to get our self to write the books or else they do not get written.