Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hello, My therapist recommended I go to a meeting. I am codependant on my mother and am finding out that I have really minimalized my parents negative behavoir (here I go again minimalizing- abuse) towards me throughout my life. CoDa meetings are like 40 miles away. I would prefer to go to CoDa over al-anon because I feel like my issues would fit in better there, but I don't want to go that far. I am looking into Al-Anon meetings around Flint, Mi, where I live. I did search on Daily strength and read some posts about Al-Anon, but I am looking for some additional feedback.
How anxiety inducing is going to your first meeting? It is terrifying because I would love to go and not be noticed and I know that isn't going to happen.
Will I be sort of shunned since my parents aren't alochol/ substance users, even though they act like that in a way?
I am nearly atheist and I get really uncofortbale with religion being force on me, is this going to be a problem? I know most meetings are at religious places.
Any exprience, suggestions, response would be appreciated. I'm trying to use everything I can to recover, but I am feeling more in over my head every day.
and just listened, learned and Absorbed. I cried alot
too, i was on rock bottom And by the end of two years
my ex had left and i was no longer a doormat.
They have daily readers to buy and a lending Library
often. We give away how alanon works Book to newcomers.
In my home group many are like me not living With any
actives. Some have children that are Addicts, some have
active addicts spouses not Many though. Some grew up
in it and not all marry Into alcoholism.
My biggest issues were the dysfunction from the Disease
and all that goes with it. They call that The isms of the disease.
I bet if you look back there were addictions. Often The parents
are adult children themselves and they don't Even drink but
grew up with the isms.
My father had been dry for 50 years. My ex dry 30 Years. My
mother is highly dysfunctional at best and Hers goes back
generations to her grandfather the alcoholic. My mother and
my ex's mother were the Worst of the bunch and neither drank.
My XMIL grew Up with a binge drinker father and was highly
effected. Both mothers were abusive to their children.
I am very spiritual now, most people there are not religious
Types its actually frowned on. Yes its God or a higher power
In charge of us, it could be mother nature or the group. Its
Anyone but us or another person. Shameless people think
They are a God, like an abusive, controlling micromanaging
Parent.
The closest Coda meeting for me is 60 miles away so we
Really are a mixed bag in small areas. There are AA, alanon
And few NA. HUGS
their families especially the dysfunctional ones.
Family are just people to accept as they are and
do The best you can with strong boundaries. Most
dynamics Will never be healed/changed unless
everyone gets healthy Enough.
The dysfunctional family system that is rigid no one
Is allowed to leave their role in it and just be who they
are suppose to Be. They will be shunned, mocked or
shamed for trying to get Outside their own role in the
family. John bradshaw explains well about all this stuff.
The non rigid family system, you should go be who you
Are to the best of your ability. You are your own person
With great value. You should have a good happy healthy
Life as you see fit. Your family does not own you or try to.
They are happy for you that you found what you want and
What you love where ever you are at. HUGS