I find the AA to be vastly different from CoDA and they are NOT near the same and it will not work.

The group Al-Anon is closer to a CoDA group and they will welcome you there.

Link = http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

I myself do not like the CoDA groups because they do not allow cross talk and that to me is insane and unhealthy for codependency.

No cross talk for Alcoholics - yes, but for codependency - no.

And another problem that I find is that people are far to fast about jumping into a group instead of doing their own homework, as real recovery is very much all alone as we must do our own research and apply the process in our own life in the ways that we decide and NOT based on any group opinion.

When ever we get with any group of 2 or more then a codependent person will start up the same codependent dysfunctions with other people in the group and that is NOT healthy.

Here is a different perspective about codependency on this link here:
https://independentfew.wordpress.com/2014/10/13/codependency-definition/

We can feel alone and we need other people but the codependency must be taken care of first.

This is just my own perspective based on my own recovery and research, so you can take whatever you like or reject whatever you judge as wrong.

Peace.

Since you describe yourself as a "dry alcoholic", it is very likely that AA meetings will be helpful to you.

Just to clarify, AA is not for everyone.
Every AA group is not right for every alcoholic.
So you may need to visit a few and find one that most benefits you.

THere are other recovery methods and meetings that are helpful too. WE have to try things until we find the thing that works best for us.

Why not give it a try? It seems like a good start may be just to have a group to share with and to hear that other people have challenges as well. If you go and it's not for you, then you don't have to go back. If you don't go, however, you may miss out on a helpful opportunity.

As Booky cautioned though, be sure that you don't fall into the trap of making someone else's problems your own.

And, as brightside said, all groups will function a bit differently. If you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, don't get discouraged. Try another group until you find your match.

Good luck

The 12 Steps and Traditions of Coda were borrowed from AA and adapted to meet the needs of codependents. Starting with those two bits of information, The traditions being the rules and the steps the way to recovery, you could be on a good start. By going to coda.org you may be able to find online and/or phone meetings that may be of help to you. I don't want to add to this for the moment accept that you may find other sites that have online coda meetings. They do exist. good luck :)

If your an alcoholic the AA meetings would be good. There is an online group for female alcoholic's- KISS. check it out. I cant find any face to face meeting in my area except for alanon and it could be helpful and easier to find. I wish I could find a face to face 12 step meeting.