Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi everyone I just wanted to put an idea out there and see if anyone had thoughts on this. I recently came across an article that said that some studies show that otherwise relationally healthy people can find themselves in the middle of a codependent relationship, kind of as a one-time thing. That still makes the relationship unhealthy, but this idea definitely piqued my curiosity. Does this put the otherwise healthy person at a disadvantage because they cannot see the signs of codependency before they begin? Or would an otherwise healthy person not enter into this type of relationship to begin with? I think this is interesting to me because I have not really ever considered myself to be a codependent type but I do find myself in the middle of a codependent relationship right now and I am finding that I am having a really hard time establishing normal boundaries now that some unhealthy ones have already been put in place. I just wondered if anyone had ever experienced this or had any thoughts on it.
I must have missed that posting of yours from 10 days ago so thanks to "ac" for bringing it back up.
There are different definitions of codependency as the human psyche is far more complicated and more interesting then just viewing codependency in one simplistic way.
Here is a link which I like giving a different view of codependency and it makes sense to me:
https://independentfew.wordpress.com/2014/10/13/codependency-definition/
And unhealthy boundaries can be changed, and usually they change simply be changed if we just tell the change to the other person because the words are powerful, and just about any boundary can be corrected just by saying the right words.
Peace.
I keep getting confused between people who are labelled "Co-Dependent" because they are control freaks who get their jollies by manipulating their partners and exercising excessive controlling behavior.
Then there are the "Co-Dependents" that have extreme depression, insecurity, poor self-worth and anxiety when they are not in a relationship or they have been dumped/abandoned.
Then there are the "Co-Dependents" that have this Mother Theresa "feed the world" helper complex. They exist solely to be someone else's doormat.
Then there are "Co-Dependents" that are submissives in BDSM relationships. They don't think of their relationships as toxic and would tell you to go **** yourself if you disagree. (Probably because their relationships exist entirely out of rules & boundaries.)
And then there are the "Classic Co-Dependents" who are parents, spouses or children of people who are drug/alcohol addicts. They usually are not like any of the above co-dependents and just want to do things to retain their sanity in relationships with addicts.
AND THAT'S the Co-Dependents I think you're talking about.... Many addicts don't have tattoos on their foreheads proclaiming their vices. And many of the classical co-dependent people get sucked down to their level, simply by behaving like normal people. It's takes awhile before you figure out that you've been seduced into a toxic relationship, and even longer to fix yourself or exit the relationship.
But not all of these Co-Dependents need to do a 12 step programme, because the 12 steps are counter-productive to bolstering waining self-confidence.
But we're still calling it all "Co-Dependency" until someone can think up more precise terms.