Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Strongerthanyesterdah 09/13/2017

I am at a point where I feel like my situation is never going to get better. It has been 6 years and I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I feel as though my only choice is to divorce my husband of 13 years.

We were once so perfect. The couple everyone looked up too. I feel like thats what Im holding on to. I dont want my kids to see him drunk or sleeping all day anymore. Hes been staying at his months for 1 month now and has gotton no where, still drinking. Hes been in 3 different rehabs.

When is enough..enough? Its so hard to leave the one you love. I feel as though maybe if I leave him hell get his act together. Does anyone have any experience with choosing to leave? If feel bad leaving cause hes sick, but the more he chooses not to seek help the more his addictions are bringing me down too.

Lovbug 09/19/2017

Hello! IT IS VERY VERY HARD. I had to leave an 8 year relationship with 2 kids due to the drinking which got increasingly worse over time. The hardest part is the "hope" that things will be better and he will change but it wont without intense therapy and rehab. Loosing the marraige isnt moving him enough to make the change so you are only going to help yourself and the children. He will need to be on his own journey and find his path. The pain is defentaley at times unbearable but you will have a huge peace in your heart. Holding on to what was will only leave you with regret and the years will go by with no change and you cant give yoour children back these years. LOVE YOURSELF enough to say its ENOUGH. You are youre OWN WONDERWOMAN and you CAN DO THIS!

Deirdre7194 09/19/2017

I left a recovering alcoholic about 9 months ago afterm 6 years of emotional roller coaster. I am codependent and ignored my own self care and my children's for most of those years. Stopped attending coda and allanon, during that time. I can say now emotionally, spiritually and physically I am much better now. My children thanked me. ( my kids are older). No one can safe an alcolic addict. They have to make the choice. Hitting bottom is the chance for recovery....ask what is best for you and kids?

Strongerthanyesterdah 09/20/2017

Thank you for your reply's. The "hope" is my biggest problem. I want so bad for him to figure it out and keep my family together, but here we still are 6 years later. I'm working on letting go, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Yesterday I let him watch my kids while I went to work because I thought he was doing better (his mom and sister were there), and he was drunk the whole time. He couldn't even get them from school. I just can't believe what his addiction has done to him.

fieztypassion 10/01/2017

As a child of an alcoholic and an adult who struggles with codependency. I can tell you that the biggest gift is having healthy clear boundaries. As a child I had no control and I couldn't do anything to make it stop and protect myself. Which is why I go through an overwhelming pain now as an adult. It's hard to detach from someone you've shared so much with. But that attachment is what keeps us stuck. Keep trying and keep talking about it.

bridgie101 10/07/2017

Why is he like this? Do you know what's kicked it off? maybe if you can unravel the tangle you can get down to the bottom of it.

addictions are a slow demise, a slippery slope. finding out what started the fall might help? Having him realise he has fallen would also help.

How's his mum? Does she enable or is she someone you can discuss this with and try to figure out a plan? She will want him happy.

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