Do NOT hurt yourself. Do NOT!!! Calm down...breathe...look about you at life...we'll get this problem solved for you...and without him.

There is someone, nearby, that is going to meet your needs and help you with this crushing lonliness.

He's apparently a Narcissist. He will take from you and everyone else he meets and give little to nothing back. He will feed you just enough to keep you starving to death emotionally. This is an all too common reaction to this type of interaction.

Try to remember that there are people, ones you might not even realize, who would deeply miss your presence in this world. Please try to think of that when thoughts of ending it all overcome you.

I have been seperated from my wife for nearly two years and I still hurt. Some days aren't as bad as others. It takes time or at least that is what people keep telling me. I feel the same way you do that gave up so much in my life for a woman that couldn't even be there when I needed her....

I'm new at this - and new at the realization of codependency. I'd like to move on in my relationship as well but im scared that I can't. I feel like im being bossed around and if i dont do it his way - im out....
Dont end your life. but lets make a pact to get ourselves stronger and move on from what brings us down!!

For trauma survivors feeling suicidal is normal, Anybody would rather be dead than feel the horrible feelings. We heal by feeling, getting rid of the shame others have put onto us. Is this man a trigger for past trauma? Is he like your mother or father? We gravitate toward people whose energy feels familiar. This has been true in my life. When I was young I didn't realize that these feelings could ever change. Now that I am old, I know everything changes. Would a domestic violence group help? Emotional abuse is violence. I care what happens to you.

Thank you everyone for tour support. He can make me feel so low and then with.one I love you I'm back, eating up every lie. I trusted him mote then I should've. He is a lot like my father who was physically abusive towards my mother. I know he isn't the one, but I just really miss him. I'm getting awful sleep. I bet he rarely thinks of me... he symbolized security but it came with a heavy price

Sunsets, I have gone through and continue to go through the exactly same thing you have discussed. If you ever want to comepare notes, send me a message. I know exactly how you are feeling.

I am in the same boat as you, its been almost a month and I feel like I have gotten no where. I wonder if anything he said was true. I love you I thought meant something, but for him I think it was just routine. He completely cut me off. A three year relationship and he just slammed it shut. No a sign he even existed! Except my crumbling to the ground. Everyone says it takes time. Time. I feel like I have been in a war with







I am in the same boat as you. I dont think there is a way to get around it, you have to go thru it. My ex was a narcissist and the only way to deal with people like that is to SURVIVE it. I am struggling but I am determined to make it thru and you have to too!! Everyday is a battle.

ladytruee, what you described sounds exactly what my ex-gf did to me. And I'm still dealing with picking up the pieces nearly 8 months later.

I don't know how some people can just totally close off their hearts, and not think about the lives shattered and damage they cause by taking this path. Maybe there isn't any other easy way to cut the cord on a relationship, but damn, the hurt is too much sometimes when it's so one sided.

I think it is most difficult to realize something that I thought would complete my life in reality was and. is making me miserable... learning how to redirect my focus... Idk if its bc I'm older but I just feel like something abt this particular relationship I can't let go, I'm aware its unhealthy and not beneficial to my progress as an individual however I long for the comfort and security of having someone hold me and tell me they loved me and everything will be ok... even if it was bullshit ugh. So tired of. being around people in perfect relationships, all apart of the process I guess.

I am new on this website. I know the exact pain you feel. It sucks when you feel like the only one that can make the pain go away is through the one you hurt for long for, the validation. I have felt suicidal, unfortunatly my cousin killed himeself this year, it was sad seeing how. Many people who miss him who he touched. As codependants we care so deeply. The hardest part is learning we have to validate our self and have no clue how. My 3 year relationship ended and they didn't even do it in person. Only txt and emails. I still feel I deserved that. Its how I knew how sick I am literally not wanting to live without them, the pain. 8 mnths and my x is already in love. Please don't hurt yourself. I know the pain is overwelming.

Please try not to take it personally. that's the hardest part for me, but remind yourself that it is not you.

Some avoid having feelings, talking about feelings, or getting closer to people, or can go through life not learning how to love.

Here's some affirmation--God, you're SO beautiful...

Why can't he see that? He doesn't WANT to see that, because the frail, weak girl is who he used to know, and who he felt he could control.

But we all need that affirmation, that love, that positivity, that reinforcement of our inner and outer beauty. You're clearly very intelligent, judging from the quality of your writing. You're also a young woman, and have a sweet, tender, impressionable heart. This is good, but it's at the whim of predators. You're doing great by making yourself stronger! Now, keep an open heart, try not to let the heart get pruned and become an old biddy in your 20s...no...trust me, guys are going to be falling by the wayside to merely get a glimpse of the beautiful blonde goddess walking in their midst, tripping over their words to even get a "hello" from you-!

You're in the driver's seat, girl. You are in the enviable position of being choosey. Just look for someone as sweet as you, who has that additional male confidence and strength, that edge, that is distinctly male, that you're obviously attracted to.

God, I wish I were a few minutes younger...

In healthy relationships, I have found that NEEDING another is a tricky downfall. When I perceive the "sucking in my heart" feeling, I redirect myself to stop and turn the heart dynamic to actively sending him love and not wanting to control someone else. Codependent me must practice receiving Free-will gifts whenever someone else gives it, and feeling grateful. No one owes me anything. I owe it to myself to love myself enough to not become dependent on anyones contribution to me, except my connection with my inner christ. I put Christ back on the throne in my heart (take my ex-lover off) and realize that an endless supply of love is available from the source of love. As in the 12 Step "surender" dynamic, I turn it over to my higher power to shift my to a different dimension of Serenity by Grace, and find my inner peace again.
It was very difficult for me to detach from the sensation of Crisis-drama. My heart would pull back to the thought of needing him again, but now I know that if I do the simplest self-nurture thing, I am showing myself the love that my soul truly needs. No one can love me exactly right or completely escept The Love Source and I have to allow it, cooperate with it, administer it to myself through nurture.
Bless your heart. You are greatly loved.

Thank u all again, everytime. I get sad or think about him or how things used to be or could've been I read all of this support and feel stronger... its day by day. I still feel hopeless at times, trying to reconnect with my faith.