Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi everybody,
For about a month now, I've been in a new relationship with a man who is really thoughtful, caring and, most of all, isn't afraid of being too close to me. I can say that he makes me feel really good. However, my problems of codependency of course can't disappear just like that. I've notice that behind my codependency there is a fear and behind that fear there is an anger and issues with trusting a man. Every time he doesn't do something like I want him to do (for example not calling me back right away) I feel an exaggerate anger, like a big wave of anger about to burst out and I need to calm myself down, by reasoning. Lately, I've been having this angry dreams, always with a man that betrays me and yesterday I had a revealing one: I saw that my father was holding a small kitten that he really liked in his hands and that when the cat mother appeared in the window he was petting it too hard, like hurting it, just because he wanted to punish the cat mother for something and I was screaming to him with fear and anger that he's hurting the kitty. Here, I need to tell you that my parents were divorced when I was 9 years old and my father used to talk badly to me about my mother (accusing her of cheating him etc) and it was hurtful for me.
I wonder if this anger is connected with my codependency issues and if anyone else of you had ever made some similar connection to your codependency issues.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
All the best to you
Robert burney's
http://joy2meu.com/Fear_of_Intimacy.html
God Bless
Diamondlil03, it's true that there is always something in one's childhood that's been feeding the codependency and i think it must be a shock and a great pain to deal with it when you have blocked a trauma in your mind and you bring it back. You did a great job and I hope you know that. I've been doing therapy for about 8 years now (first systemic approach and then cognitive-behaviorism) and I have worked through many traumas with other members of my family. Although I have worked some issues with my father, I have never, until know, made a connection between his post divorce dehaviour with my codependency issues..so I guess maybe I'm near the root of my codependency problems and it's something to work with..Thanks again for your support, it means a lot and I am wishing you to be happy 'cause you deserve it :)
Mirandac, thank you so much for the link, it seems really interesting and I will definitely look on it :)
Bobinmaine, you're great, thank you for confirming me as well what I was thinking :)
SimpsonsOK, thank you once again for keeping an eye on me and for you valuable feedback. Lately, I can't have sessions with my therapist, cause she's dealing with some burn out issues of her own and although she has prepared me all these years to deal with my issues also by myself, it's important for me to have somebody keeping track on me and helping me, so I thank you for that :)
I agree that we codependents have a tension to avoiding the fight and I don't want to keep doing that..I need to work on these anger that has come to the surface..