Hi,

I do get what you are saying. I was seriously stressed out about a year and a half ago and my church had a lot to do with it. I felt like I was a doormat, and people kept piling projects on me. I told my mom that I was thinking of leaving the church, I was so frazzled.

I think we each have to find the balance. Long story short, for me, in that particular case, the issue was me, not the church. I was not taking care of myself and I was not saying "no". I was so tentative in trying to turn things down, that people did not believe me when I did make a half-hearted attempt to say "no".

I got through it by very awkwardly saying "no" and meaning it. And I refused to stay on a committee. I also kept telling people my plate was full and I stuck to it. Eventually they started to believe me.

But I have also found that some people/situations are toxic and it is best just to move on. There is no need to deliberately place myself around negative, toxic people as a choice. So it is a balance. Hopefully you can get involved without getting overly involved. Setting boundaries for self has been a huge move forward in recovery for me.

Good Luck!

Shar