Hi Pam:

The secret to happiness is to be content with whatever is our circumstance.

Seems to me that you would be getting plenty enough exercise by chasing after the 2 babies. You have simply changed the type of exercise.

I like the way you divide your old self from now your new self, because I see that as one of the coolest things in my life, in that long ago I use to be an Electrician, and another job as a Carpet Cleaner, and was a truck driver for about 5 years, and long ago I was married for 5 years, then later another relationship for 4 years, and then being single for 10 years, and so I see my own life as divided into different sections which the different parts make up the whole me.

The idea that you could stay the same for your entire lifetime seems kind of boring to me, and I know a lot of people who just do not want any kind of change as if they do not want their life to be an adventure - as I like mine being lots of different adventures.

Our old self is our foundation for our new self, and so I say to embrace it as being fun.

I use to be young, use to be healthier, use to be so important, and now I get to unwind down as I get older and older.

Our self care just changes without ever going away.

Welcome here to this group.

Consider talking to your doctor about whether or not you might have low grade postpartum depression. There are things we mothers can do for exercise while minding our kids. Turn on music and dance around with the toddlers. Chase them around the house or back yard. Dance means do exercise moves. Do yoga at home with DVDs. The kids can do it, too, yes I know they are young but they can mimic you. Take the kids for a walk after work. Even for 10 minutes after work, you will feel so much better, or take your walk during lunch time at work. If you are at home with the kids and don't work, get up and put on some make-up and attractive clothing every day even if you will just be at home. Doesn't have to be expensive or "work clothes" but wearing our pajamas all day and having greasy hair often makes us feel more defeated and overwhelmed. Plan your meals weekly so you can manage without so much stress. Make sure you eat veggies and fruits every day and limit sugar. Take a nap with the kids and go to bed early enough in the night so you get 8 hours. Consider using a slow cooker for meals. Cook double batches, do your housework in small spurts, like one bathroom at a time. Time your chores so you know exactly how long they take and involve the kids in helping you. Toddlers can "help" scrub the tub or wipe the floor with a dry towel (fake cleaning but they won't know unless you tell them). You can sit on the floor and fold laundry while they play with toys. Set one or two chores on a schedule for every day and make sure these get done so you feel like you accomplished something. If it takes 10 minutes to clean a bathroom, then you know this is all it will take you and you can do it with positive self talk and then congratulate yourself for achieving this. If you can afford a housecleaner, then do so! Tell yourself great job when you get that small bit of chores done. Also, this time will pass. It gets easier as time goes on, well until they hit teenage years. Practice self care because it is important to find time for ourselves otherwise we moms tend to wonder how did we lose ourselves?
EDIT: One thing I did when I had 3 kids under 5 years of age was get them on a sort of schedule. I was not overly rigid, or mean, but they had a set bedtime, we ate at set times, nap after lunch, baths after dinner and winding down with books to go to sleep. We ate dinner fairly early and simple to cook and clean up meal, so that I could have the kitchen cleaned up and then do baths and then bedtime and then free time. My ex husband did not help at all. This allowed me time to do self care because I was not allowing time to fritter away and it gave me a sort of goal to aim for.

When my kids started coming along I can remember how difficult it became to hold on to who I was before. It wasn’t until later on when the kids were more self sufficient that I started to rediscover who it was God made me to be. Self care as a mom of littles is so vital...don’t give up the things that make you unique maybe try incorporating the kids if you can’t get time alone. But when you can do it allow yourself to have the quite time to recharge. Keep moving forward. Praying for you —Rachel

Pam,

Exercising is not the only way to self care. Seems like you are tired and overextended. Perhaps instead of focusing on exercise, you do some easier self care practices. Such as....when the kids sleep...do your nails, give yourself a 10 minute pedicure, make yourself a nice cup of tea and maybe a dessert just for mom...and read 10 minutes of a good book. Maybe you can light a candle and meditate for 5 minutes, or treat yourself to something you've been wanting for awhile.

Self care is anything that makes you feel good...whatever that is.

I think it sounds like you've lost your identity. My best friend went thru a similar situation after having her first son...all she was was mom...and she forgot herself.

So her therapist suggests doing activities that she did before the kids and husband. So she's writing music again, talking to old friends, buying herself better clothes rather than mom sweats, treating herself to a glass of wine. These things help remind her of who she was. I think than can help you...focus on regaining your identity before the kids.

PAMJIT, I am wondering how you are doing?

You are definitely not alone here, it seems as though this is a season alot of people are going through. I have to frequently remind myself that I am not only NOT identified by my low times, that I am human too, but that it is just a season and will not always be this way. On the other hand, I have to remind myself that I can propel myself into the more positive future with my thinking or I can propel myself into a more negative future if I continue to stay in my tiredness and fear based mindset. Either way it is my choice, so why not look toward a positive future and make small steps to get there.