Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I find myself at work and in life almost any question, or decsion, I need somebody opinon even, if know the answer or what to do anybody have any ideas.
We give own decision power away to other people as a safety mechanism.
Making decisions is the expression of our feelings. And in codependency our feelings were crushed and violated. That is not necessarily violated physically because it is a mental and emotional violation. And so in recovery we need to re-discovery what our true feelings are.
Feelings do mean more then just feeling sad or feel happy or feel this or that, because we see people like Barack Obama and John McCain that feel so strong about their own feelings that they (and others) want to make the decisions for the USA and for the entire world. All of their beliefs and opinions and their decisions are based on their deep feelings. The real deep feelings are the basis of any real deep decisions.
We can study and learn about feelings and that is fine, but it is when we start creating the healthy boundaries is when we put the strength behind our feelings. So the boundaries are our expression of our feelings.
http://store.cloudtownsendstore.com/boundariesbook1.html
www.DocumentsSite.BraveHost.com
Boundaries are what we say "yes or no" to (the decisions) and when abused in codependency then we were denied making our own true decisions of what I want or do not want. Our true "wants" were distorted.
President Bush tells us that when he said "no" to alcohol (his boundary line) because Bush was a drunk, and that was the day his life turned around, so instead of alcohol making his poor decisions he started making his own decisions and he took control of himself by saying "no" to booze - that was his boundary expressing his feeling.
In my own codependency I could not decide even a simple thing like chocolate or strawberry icecream because my own feelings had been so trampled on that I had no healthy boundaries at all. I found it hard to impossible to say a definitive "yes or no" about anything, and I could not even decide on a "like or dislike" of anything.
When my childhood abusers found out that I liked some thing then it would be degraded, and if they found out that I did not like anything then I had it pushed onto me - thus violated feelings and violated boundaries. I did grow up in a horrible place where I was not wanted and my own family hated me and we all hated each other too.
At 25 years old I made my first true healthy decision of my own when I decided to get the hell away from those people, and slowly after that I started making my own boundaries based on my own understanding of God, because I trusted God and the Bible more than I trusted my own mixed up feelings, and it worked for me.
Making healthy boundaries is the key to the door way of making decisions based on our own feelings.
http://store.cloudtownsendstore.com/boundariesbook1.html
Boundaries, boundaries, we all need healthy boundaries.