Hi everyone.  I'm new to this support group.  I think I really need support from other codependants.  I had alcolohic parents and have been in some kind of therapy off and on most of my adult life.  The term codependant only resignated with me the last five years and I've come to realize that it describes me to a "T".  I have only been happy if everyone else is happy.  My need to caregive has been overwhelming and has taken me down some dark roads.  I am realizing these characteristics about myself.  I am trying to set boundaries but the guilt is really difficult to deal with and causes me to retreat to my old ways.  My biggest triggers are certain relationships in my life.  My mother  :  she is sober now but very very negative and manipulative at times.  I have a great deal of trouble speaking/or spending time with her as I usually leave feeling very drained and/or angry.  My daughter:  she shares my attributes of anxiety and depression and looks to me for support.  I get triggered into trying to "fix things" for her which makes things worse.  I struggle with what I'm suppose to do and say.  After spending time with her when she is anxious and depressed I usually suffer for days afterwards with worry.  My husband:  he is a strong individual and has difficulty understanding my emotional needs.  I find myself hiding when I'm anxious from him and worry that he will eventually get sick of me and leave.  He tells me he loves me all of the time but I feel the need to caretake for him in order to prove my worth and have trouble setting boundaries with him for fear of disapproval and rejection.  I know a lot of this is made up stuff going on in my head and I wish I had more of a backbone to stand up for myself without the overwhelming fear of abandoment.

It feels good to vent a bit and I would appreciate feedback from anyone who can relate to my struggles and advice on how you handle your issues.

All the best.