Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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stefanie68 07/28/2008

How do you slow down enough to put things into action? For example reacting to something someone says or does whether it be a friend, family member or stranger. Reacting is so automatic I find I don't have time to slow down to process what has happened. I'm sure we all do this but how do we slow it down when we don't expect it. I can apply this concept if I know its coming.

Some ideas are very much welcomed. I know practice practice practice makes a world of difference but I would like to know if someone(s) have any tricks to apply. Thanks guys and Hugs to all...

stef

deleted_user 07/28/2008

Hi Stephanie,

I don't have a whole lot of advice, I just noticed you hadn't gotten any replies. I just started reading Codependent No More - I took it out from the library on the weekend. I haven't gotten that far to know the answer to your question, but far enough to know that REACTING is one of our main problems - we react to everything and everyone. Maybe you can get this book and find out more?

Peace out,

blooming19 07/30/2008

what works for me is to leave the room quick, take a few deep breathes before i go back to respond to a situation but i know what you mean. some people just like to push my buttons,

deleted_user 07/30/2008

You're right, it's practice practice practice every moment of your day.

"listen more...speak less" and "think before you speak" and all those little proverbs really are powerful if we practice them in our life. One of the most calming and most not-codependent things we can do is that. It gives us the time to really think about how we really want to respond to people's idoicy.

big hugs back

stefanie68 07/30/2008

thank you all for the advice. keep them coming. hugs to all

Xtina 07/30/2008

It's hard for me too! I think it's hard for everyone but, like you said it takes practice like everything else. If you don't already go to meetings that really helps to hear everyone story. You can learn so much! The best part is you have the desire to change thats why your here. That's why were all here. Don't be too hard on yourself no ones perfect but, just try to be the best you can be today!

deleted_user 07/30/2008

hi stefanie, I tend to have an immediate reaction as well..what has helped me has been learning to paraphrase back what was just said to me, which does two things. First, it ensures that what I've heard is correct, and second it gives me time to process before I respond. By nature I am impatient and tend to start talking before the other person has even finished their sentence, so I have to keep focused on this at all times, especially when it's something negative being said.

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