I am old school, i would say attend CODA meetings
And find out at a doctors or therapist to see if you
Have ADD. They can test people.

And there are a lot of good books and youtube
Videos about codependency, attending therapy
helps a lot too. HUGS

HELLO AND HOW ARE YOU? I WAS RESEARCHING CO DEPENDENCY. CAME ACROSS YOUR POST AND FOR THE FIRST TIME HAVE NOW BEEN INTRODUCED TO THE CO-DEPENDENCY + ADHD TOPIC. I THOUGHT THAT THIS "DIAGNOSIS" WAS UNIQUE ONLY TO ME. NEVER CROSSED MY MIND SOMEONE ELSE COULD HAVE THE SAME ISSUES. SO MY ADHD MIND STARTED RESEARCHING ALL KINDS OF STUFF ON THE CO-DE & ADHD TOPIC AND YOU HAVE JUST OPENED UP PANDORA'S BOX!
IT ALL MAKES SENSE TO ME NOW REMEMBER THAT I USED TO BE A VERY EFFECIENT GOAL ORIENTED FIRST ONE TO COMPLETE ANY TASK FUNCTIONAL PERSON BEFORE THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE NARCISSIST THAT ALMOST TOOK MY LIFE BEGAN. ONCE I WAS INVOLVED WITH HIM MY WHOLE LIFE IS A FOG. WELL I FOUND THIS ARTICLE THAT REALLY HAS A GREAT WAY OF EXPLAINING IT. THE TITLE " GOALS OF A NARCISSIST - PROTECT YOUR HEART AND MIND" THAT PART OF THE CODEPENDANTS BEHAVIORAL PATTERNS IS TO ALLOW SOMEONE ELSE TO CONTROL OUR MINDS, OUR THOUGHTS, HIJACK OUR WAY OF THINKING AND LIVING, WHICH DISABLES THE CORE FUNCTION OF THINKING. MAKING SENSE OUT OF NORMAL. FOLLOWING THROUGH AND FOCUSED ATTENTION WORK AGAINST THE CODEPENDENT AND THE WAYS WE RELATE TO SELF AND OTHERS.

HERE IS THE LINK - http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2017/01/the-goals-of-a-narcissist-partner-why-hes-attracted-to-you/#.WLXOH_2n6Jk.link

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. IN MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, PROBLEMS IN OUR LIVES TAKE OVER WHEN WE HAVE A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE IN THAT AREA PLUS NO RELATIONSHIP OR EXPERIENCES THAT ARE FAMILIAR ENOUGH TO USE AS REFERENCE POINT. THE UNKNOWN THE UNFORSEEN ARE FEARFUL AND EASIER FOR ME IF I TRY TO AVOID IT BUT WE HAVE TO BEGIN TO TRUST OURSELVES AND BUILD A NEW FOUNDATION FOR OUR LIVES FREE OF THE CONTROL OF CODEPENDENT LIVING HAS ON US. SO CONTINUE TO SEEK WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING TO FIND,

HEBREWS 6-18-20: in order that by two unchangeable things [His promise and His oath] in which it is impossible for God to lie — the ones having to take-hold-of the hope being set-before us— may have strong encouragement, which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both secure and firm and entering into the inner side of the curtain, where a forerunner for us went in— Jesus— having become High Priest forever .
Miss B. Hayvn 2017

WOW WOW that article was fantastic. thanks for the link. i grew up with a narcissistic dad and a codependent mom. The house revolved around his needs. My mom functioned on auto pilot mode. she gave up her likes, beliefs and values in order to please him. I always felt maybe if i just do that one good deed i'll gain his approval, but never got there. I lived in this household for 20 years not knowing any better. There wasn't official abuse it was just the combination of a self centered narcissist and a codependent partner. I as a child lived my life on a chase in the fantasy world of a narcissists as the article described. I lost all sense of boundaries i mastered the art of social chamelion at a very young age. i knew how to talk everyones language BUT my own....

I married a stable man and had to stop running the 80-mph chase. its hard when u've been doing this all your life and its no longer expected of u and youve got to slow down... He just expects a calm intimate genuine realationship which is a total foreign language to me.. i have friends that grew up in a stable home and then married a narcissists. and they start the chase now but they always have a backbone to lean on.. for me this is something new i need to learn. i should be grateful its this way rather but its work and a long journey.. HUGS