Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Addiction & Recovery
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letting go

quilters4
quilters4
In looking back over several months I realize my 31 year old has done nothing to change in regards to her substance abuse. I would have thought that being kicked out of the house would have woken her up. But nothing has changed. The one thing that has is there is no more drama in the house. I'm the one who is having issues not contacting her. She is suppose to start rehab on the 16th, but she doesn't think she has a problem
I'm struggling with this problem in our family. Sometimes I'm so depressed and cry for no reason. I'm going to go to alanon this week and I see a therapist every other week. I just try to take one day at a time and turn to god.
I have to let her go. Its so painful. But she has made her choices. I don't think she has hit rock bottom yet. I just have to take care of myself
Quietstorm17
Quietstorm17
Yes you do have to take care of yourself. Unfortunately we can't force people to change. She is an adult and will hopefully wake up one day and decide it's time to change, even then it would be extremely hard to focus on recovery while being In a relationship. Its difficult to let go but try to look on the bright side, like you said there's no more drama in the house, or now you can focus on yourself and learn to be happy with out constantly worrying about someone else. I wish you the best of luck!
quilters4
quilters4
Thank you for the encouraging words. I have raised 4 daughters and have never gone thru anything like. I do well then it hits me I better check on her, make sure she is OK etc. I just have to struggle thru these feelings. And tell myself if it is an emergency she will call,and that she is OK.
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
And if it is an emergency, YOU CANNOT BAIL HER OUT!!!

If she makes a mess on her own, YOU CANNOT CLEAN IT UP.

You bet she will expect you to do something so she doesn't go to rehab on the 16th... Make it so if she doesn't go, she's left to fend for herself.