Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
One half of me resists the codependency concept because I grew up in a codependent environment and family members. I resist that concept cos it makes me feel like a factory defect. Like its my fault to be codependent.. That is to be used to certain ways an behaviors without inteding to burden others..
Anyway. I noticed my impatience and sudden bursts of anger lately. I also less patient and tolerant with people. I noticed that I am also impatient when it comes to waiting... I want to get what I want when I want it. Now. Hehe. Really. And I don't know why.
My family is also getting to me. There are just many, unnecessary family norms. My dad is bombarding me with texts asking my whereabouts every time. As if wanting to control everything. It makes me wonder why I am not
Happy with their concern. Instead I really feel suffocated. I wish he could stop focusing on me. Yet I feel guilty for getting irritated with him. Thoughts?
Anyway. I noticed my impatience and sudden bursts of anger lately. I also less patient and tolerant with people. I noticed that I am also impatient when it comes to waiting... I want to get what I want when I want it. Now. Hehe. Really. And I don't know why.
My family is also getting to me. There are just many, unnecessary family norms. My dad is bombarding me with texts asking my whereabouts every time. As if wanting to control everything. It makes me wonder why I am not
Happy with their concern. Instead I really feel suffocated. I wish he could stop focusing on me. Yet I feel guilty for getting irritated with him. Thoughts?
With your dad, the best I can suggest is communicate how you feel with him the best you can.
In regards to your Dad, to me it looks like a boundary issue. If it's true that we teach others how to treat us, he's been taught that it's okay to ask about your whereabouts whenever he wants. The healthy response would be to discuss it with him, as ASideKick said. If you're family is like mine and it wouldn't be safe/healthy/productive to discuss it with him, an idea might be instead to teach him by responding to his text messages less and less often. For instance, begin responding to his text messages every half hour instead of the moment he texts you. So he texts at 3:15, don't respond until 3:30pm. Then after a week or so, respond on the hour. Then respond every other hour. Then a few weeks later, respond only at meal times. At some point he's going to bring it up (maybe even in a passive-aggressive way such as "Oh, I'm not important enough to respond to anymore?"). If it's not safe to have a frank discussion at that time with him, then hopefully you'll have enough time to develop a safe response and can at least convey whatever you need to convey to honor your boundaries and help him understand how to do so as well.
It's an idea that came to mind. Hopefully it helps you figure something out or others post better ideas/suggestions.
Good luck! Peace.
Only reason I ask, is I have found it is when living with the parent they do this type of thing. It is a regression in habits, and as you know, it can be challenging having someone living with you and having a different time table.......anyway just a thought.
But if he is doing this while you live on your own, then you definitely need to draw the boundary....cause that is really uncomfortable sounding! That would drive me bonkers :)
Anyway, take care of you no matter what XXOO